Hybrid Car

My uncle in Detroit tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Oldsmobile, the tires from a Cadillac, and the exhaust system from a Plymouth."

"Really? What did he get?"

"Fifteen years for theft."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh *Hybrid Car*

C. S. Lewis on Prayer

Quotation:

Can we believe that God ever really modifies His action in
response to the suggestions of man? For infinite wisdom does
not need telling what is best, and infinite goodness needs no
urging to do it. But neither does God need any of those things
that are done by finite agents, whether living or inanimate.
He could, if He chose, repair our bodies miraculously without
food; or give us food without the aid of farmers, bakers, and
butchers; or knowledge without the aid of learned men; or
convert the heathen without missionaries. Instead, He allows
soils and weather and animals and the muscles, minds, and
wills of men to cooperate in the execution of His will. "God,"
says Pascal, "instituted prayer in order to lend to His
creatures the dignity of causality." But it is not only
prayer; whenever we act at all, He lends us that dignity. It
is not really stranger, nor less strange, that my prayers
should affect the course of events than that my other actions
should do so.

... C. S. Lewis (1898-1963), The Efficacy of Prayer, pp. 9-10
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs045

Bedtime Suggestion

This entry just had to be made! Enjoy.

I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bed-time finally came, I laid down the law: "We're putting on your p.j.s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it's lights out!"

Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said, "We learned in Sunday school about little boys and girls who don't have mommies and daddies."

Even after I'd been such a grouch, I thought, she was still grateful to have me. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, and then she whispered, "Maybe you could go be THEIR mom?"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

We are home

We returned on Saturday. The job in Memphis, Texas was as complete as any job we had worked on. The church people have only to paint, have the carpet laid, kitchen cabinets installed, install the ceiling panels (we finished the lay in ceiling grid) and the restroom fixtures installed and they will be ready to use their new Fellowship Hall.

When we got home, the welcome but extensive rain had caused problems for the foundation under the swimming pool. Corrective work is in order!

It is good to be home!!

The Good Lord gave us a safe trip up and back, a total of almost 800 miles. Thank You Lord!!

Time Out

We will be leaving on April 9th to help build a church.

We should be back on line by the end of April.

Meditation

Meditation:
[Jesus:] At that time the sign of the Son of Man will
appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will
mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of
the sky, with power and great glory. And he will send his
angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his
elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the
other.
-- Matthew 24:30,31 (NIV)

_______________________________________________________________

Quotation:
Now, if our hopes, whatever we protest, really lie in this
world instead of in the eternal order, we shall find it
difficult to accept the New Testament teaching of the Second
Coming. In our eyes the job is not yet done, and such an
action would be, though we would not put it so, an
interference. But suppose our hope rests in the purpose of
God, then we safely leave the timing of the earthly experiment
to Him. Meanwhile we do what we were told to do--to be alert
and to work and to pray for the spread of His Kingdom.
... J. B. Phillips (1906-1982), New Testament Christianity
[1956], chapt. v.
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs018

Dollar Math

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH *Dollar Math* "If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?" Vinny raised his hand and answered, "One dollar." The teacher shook her head. "You don't know your math." Vinny replied, "You don't know my father." *Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!* http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

EYE LAUGH "BF Fight"

Flower OIl

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH


When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter.

During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife. "How often do you do that?" one asked.

Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my routine, said, "Every three months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Palm Sunday

Meditation:
[Jesus:] "When you are brought before synagogues, rulers
and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend
yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will
teach you at that time what you should say."
-- Luke 12:11,12 (NIV)

_______________________________________________________________

Quotation:
No man ever did, nor ever shall, truly go forth to convert
the nations, nor to prophesy in the present state of witnesses
against Antichrist, but by the gracious inspiration and
instigation of the Holy Spirit of God... I prejudice not an
external test and call, which was at first and shall be again
in force at the resurrection of the churches, ... but in the
present state of things I cannot but be humbly bold to say
that I know no other true sender but the most Holy Spirit. And
when He sends, His messengers will go, His prophets will
prophesy, though all the world should forbid them.
... Roger Williams (1603?-1683), The Hireling Ministry
[1652], pp. 3-4
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs015

Fargo Flood!

Be sure to check the following web for some great shots! While there read some of the many posted comments. The personal observation was sent to me but the author was not identified.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/03/red_river_flooding.html

Just a personal observation...as I watched the news coverage of the massive flooding in the Midwest with the levee's about to break in Fargo, ND, what amazed me is not what we saw, but what we didn't see...

1. We don't see looting.

2. We don't see street violence.

3. We don't see people sitting on their rooftops waiting for the government to come and save them.

4. We don't see people waiting on the government to do anything.

5. We don't see Hollywood organizing benefits to raise money for people to rebuild.

6. We don't see people blaming President Obama. (Except for Don Marchant, post #30)

7. We don't see people ignoring evacuation orders.

8. We don't see people blaming a government conspiracy to blow up the levees as the reason some have not held.

9. We don't see the US Senators or the Governor of North Dakota crying on TV.

10. We don't see the Mayors of any of these cities complaining about the lack of state or federal response.

11. We don't see or hear reports of the police going around confiscating personal firearms so only the criminal will be armed.

12. We don't see gangs of people going around and randomly shooting at the rescue workers.

13. You don't see some leaders in this country blaming the bad behavior of the North Dakota flood victims on "society" (of course there is no wide spread reports of lawlessness to require excuses).

Flower Oil

Flower Oil*

When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter.

During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing about a husband getting flowers for his wife. "How often do you do that?" one asked.

Before I could answer, the cashier, more than familiar with my routine, said, "Every three months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh