December 31
Trials and Pain: Prepared for Whatever
Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God. --Psalm 90:1-2
Yet I do not advise that we end the year on a somber note. The march, not the dirge, has ever been the music of Christianity. If we are good students in the school of life, there is much that the years have to teach us. But the Christian is more than a student, more than a philosopher. He is a believer, and the object of his faith makes the difference, the mighty difference.
Of all persons the Christian should be best prepared for whatever the New Year brings. He has dealt with life at its source. In Christ he has disposed of a thousand enemies that other men must face alone and unprepared. He can face his tomorrow cheerful and unafraid because yesterday he turned his feet into the ways of peace and today he lives in God. The man who has made God his dwelling place will always have a safe habitation.
The Warfare of the Spirit, p. 148
"Thank You, Father, for all You've taught me this past year. Thank You for the stretching experiences. Thank You for Tozer's wise counsel. Thank You for the privilege of serving You. Thank You for Your love and grace. Amen."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Pregnant Turkey Story
Oh, wouldn't you love to pull this one off???
PREGNANT TURKEY STORY
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, 'Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!' At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!
PREGNANT TURKEY STORY
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, 'Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!' At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Something For Mom
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he said, "OK, you can ask for something but it has to be for someone other than yourself. What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother," said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you," smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? "
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Dog Manger"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw86
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he said, "OK, you can ask for something but it has to be for someone other than yourself. What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother," said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you," smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? "
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Dog Manger"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw86
Monday, December 21, 2009
Christian Quotation of the Day
Monday, December 21, 2009
Meditation:
So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done
this, cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild
animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all
the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and
the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush
your head, and you will strike his heel."
--Genesis 3:14-15 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
I have this running quandary about Christmas. I get upset
about it, because I feel that we American Christians make too
much of it, and too little. Too little of it, because we pile
all sorts of other things onto it, including some that have
only the feeblest connection with the Event it is supposed to
commemorate. If God did become a man, in any real sense, it is
the most important thing that ever happened. Surely we, who
believe it, could well devote one day a year to uninterrupted
contemplation of the fact, and let Saturnalia fall on the
winter solstice, where it belongs.
On the other hand, we make so much of the actual birth, and
forget the things that make it more than just the birth of a
baby (though even that is, in Walt Whitman's phrase, "miracle
enough to stagger sextillions of infidels"*)--more, even, than
the birth of the greatest man who ever lived. We forget the
promise to Eve of a descendant who will solve the problem of
Evil; the promise to Abraham of one by whom all mankind will be
blessed; the promise to Moses of a greater prophet than he, to
arise from his people; and the promise to David of a Son who
would be his Master. We forget about the eternal Purpose behind
it all: it's like telling a story and leaving out the point.
Yes, it is true that God gave us His Son, and so maybe we ought
also to give gifts--but what, and to whom? It is also true that
God gave us Himself, and the only sensible response to that is
to give ourselves to Him. There is nothing else that He wants
from us, or, if there is something, He can take it. Only I, my
ego, my heart, is truly mine to give or to withhold--and is
therefore the appropriate gift to Him.
* Walt Whitman (1819-1892), Song of Myself, in Leaves of
Grass
... Robert MacColl Adams (1913-1985), letter, 1982
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, I give You my life for what You have given me.
CQOD Compilation Copyright 2009, Robert McAnally Adams, Curator
Sub to CQOD HTML: cqodh-subscribe@cqod.com
Meditation:
So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done
this, cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild
animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all
the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and
the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush
your head, and you will strike his heel."
--Genesis 3:14-15 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
I have this running quandary about Christmas. I get upset
about it, because I feel that we American Christians make too
much of it, and too little. Too little of it, because we pile
all sorts of other things onto it, including some that have
only the feeblest connection with the Event it is supposed to
commemorate. If God did become a man, in any real sense, it is
the most important thing that ever happened. Surely we, who
believe it, could well devote one day a year to uninterrupted
contemplation of the fact, and let Saturnalia fall on the
winter solstice, where it belongs.
On the other hand, we make so much of the actual birth, and
forget the things that make it more than just the birth of a
baby (though even that is, in Walt Whitman's phrase, "miracle
enough to stagger sextillions of infidels"*)--more, even, than
the birth of the greatest man who ever lived. We forget the
promise to Eve of a descendant who will solve the problem of
Evil; the promise to Abraham of one by whom all mankind will be
blessed; the promise to Moses of a greater prophet than he, to
arise from his people; and the promise to David of a Son who
would be his Master. We forget about the eternal Purpose behind
it all: it's like telling a story and leaving out the point.
Yes, it is true that God gave us His Son, and so maybe we ought
also to give gifts--but what, and to whom? It is also true that
God gave us Himself, and the only sensible response to that is
to give ourselves to Him. There is nothing else that He wants
from us, or, if there is something, He can take it. Only I, my
ego, my heart, is truly mine to give or to withhold--and is
therefore the appropriate gift to Him.
* Walt Whitman (1819-1892), Song of Myself, in Leaves of
Grass
... Robert MacColl Adams (1913-1985), letter, 1982
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, I give You my life for what You have given me.
CQOD Compilation Copyright 2009, Robert McAnally Adams, Curator
Sub to CQOD HTML: cqodh-subscribe@cqod.com
Friday, December 11, 2009
Legalese Night Before Christmas
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS in Legalese
(Author unknown)
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as ("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"CD Burner"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw315
(Author unknown)
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as ("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"CD Burner"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw315
Friday, December 04, 2009
From "Desiring God Blog"
Simon the Pharisee: The Fuel of True Love for God
Posted: 04 Dec 2009 12:27 AM PST
(Author: Jon Bloom)
He had the Holy One of Israel in his house, reclining at his table. The Prophet that Moses had foretold was sharing dinner with him. The Lord of glory, the Resurrection and the Life, was speaking with him face to face. The great climactic moment of history he claimed to be living for had arrived. It should have been a deliriously wonderful, breathtaking honor for Simon to host the Messiah.
But Simon was not amazed. As he looked at Jesus, all he saw was a dusty Nazarene whose claims could be interpreted as delusional.
And Jesus' feet were still dirty. Offering foot washing to guests had been a deeply ingrained custom for Near Eastern peoples for thousands of years. To not offer it was to dishonor one's guest. It's not likely that Simon simply forgot.
But Jesus showed no sign of offense. And with the meal on the table, superficial pleasantries were exchanged. A few polite questions were asked.
Suddenly all eyes facing Jesus were filled with confused concern, focused toward his feet. Jesus looked back.
A woman was standing near him, clearly not part of the household. She was looking intensely at him, cradling a small jar in her hands. She began to sob and dropped to her knees. And as her tears flowed, she leaned over and let them drop on Jesus' soiled feet and wiped them off, along with the dirt, with her hair. Then she kissed Jesus' feet.
Gasps and mutterings were heard around the table. This woman had a reputation known to all the local guests. It was improper even to speak openly about what had given her this reputation. She was simply called a "sinner." Everyone knew what was packed into that word.
So everyone was mortified by this sinner's actions, except Jesus, apparently. He did not seem shocked. And he did nothing to stop her. An alarmed servant moved toward the woman but Simon waved him off. This was a revealing moment.
As Simon watched the woman pour fragrant oil from her jar on Jesus' feet, he felt both contempt and pleasure. His appraisal of Jesus was being vindicated before his eyes. Nothing spoke more eloquently of the falseness of this so-called prophet than his stunning lack of discernment regarding this immoral woman. No holy man would have let her pollute him with her touch. He began to rehearse what he would report to the Council.
"Simon, I have something to say to you." Jesus' words snapped Simon's attention back. "Say it, Teacher," he replied.
"A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt." And he said to him, "You have judged rightly."
Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."
And then Jesus spoke to the woman: "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace." (Quotes from Luke 7:40-49)
* * *
"He who is forgiven little, loves little." This little statement reveals a mammoth truth for us: We will love God to the degree that we recognize the magnitude of our sins and the immensity of God's grace to forgive them.
As a Pharisee, Simon likely had learned significant theological, memorized extensive portions of Scripture, exercised rigorous self-discipline, tithed meticulously, spent much time "serving" God, and enjoyed a reputation as a godly man. And yet he did not love God.
The woman, however, who had nothing to offer except shameful sin, was described by Jesus as a model for true worship. Why? Simply because she knew how desperately she needed the forgiveness Jesus offered in his gospel, and she believed that he could grant it.
That is what Jesus is looking for. That is the faith that saves.
True worship is a passionate love for God. And, for sinners like us, the fuel of that love is a profound realization, in the words of former slave trader-turned-pastor, John Newton, "that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Saviour."
Posted: 04 Dec 2009 12:27 AM PST
(Author: Jon Bloom)
He had the Holy One of Israel in his house, reclining at his table. The Prophet that Moses had foretold was sharing dinner with him. The Lord of glory, the Resurrection and the Life, was speaking with him face to face. The great climactic moment of history he claimed to be living for had arrived. It should have been a deliriously wonderful, breathtaking honor for Simon to host the Messiah.
But Simon was not amazed. As he looked at Jesus, all he saw was a dusty Nazarene whose claims could be interpreted as delusional.
And Jesus' feet were still dirty. Offering foot washing to guests had been a deeply ingrained custom for Near Eastern peoples for thousands of years. To not offer it was to dishonor one's guest. It's not likely that Simon simply forgot.
But Jesus showed no sign of offense. And with the meal on the table, superficial pleasantries were exchanged. A few polite questions were asked.
Suddenly all eyes facing Jesus were filled with confused concern, focused toward his feet. Jesus looked back.
A woman was standing near him, clearly not part of the household. She was looking intensely at him, cradling a small jar in her hands. She began to sob and dropped to her knees. And as her tears flowed, she leaned over and let them drop on Jesus' soiled feet and wiped them off, along with the dirt, with her hair. Then she kissed Jesus' feet.
Gasps and mutterings were heard around the table. This woman had a reputation known to all the local guests. It was improper even to speak openly about what had given her this reputation. She was simply called a "sinner." Everyone knew what was packed into that word.
So everyone was mortified by this sinner's actions, except Jesus, apparently. He did not seem shocked. And he did nothing to stop her. An alarmed servant moved toward the woman but Simon waved him off. This was a revealing moment.
As Simon watched the woman pour fragrant oil from her jar on Jesus' feet, he felt both contempt and pleasure. His appraisal of Jesus was being vindicated before his eyes. Nothing spoke more eloquently of the falseness of this so-called prophet than his stunning lack of discernment regarding this immoral woman. No holy man would have let her pollute him with her touch. He began to rehearse what he would report to the Council.
"Simon, I have something to say to you." Jesus' words snapped Simon's attention back. "Say it, Teacher," he replied.
"A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt." And he said to him, "You have judged rightly."
Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."
And then Jesus spoke to the woman: "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace." (Quotes from Luke 7:40-49)
* * *
"He who is forgiven little, loves little." This little statement reveals a mammoth truth for us: We will love God to the degree that we recognize the magnitude of our sins and the immensity of God's grace to forgive them.
As a Pharisee, Simon likely had learned significant theological, memorized extensive portions of Scripture, exercised rigorous self-discipline, tithed meticulously, spent much time "serving" God, and enjoyed a reputation as a godly man. And yet he did not love God.
The woman, however, who had nothing to offer except shameful sin, was described by Jesus as a model for true worship. Why? Simply because she knew how desperately she needed the forgiveness Jesus offered in his gospel, and she believed that he could grant it.
That is what Jesus is looking for. That is the faith that saves.
True worship is a passionate love for God. And, for sinners like us, the fuel of that love is a profound realization, in the words of former slave trader-turned-pastor, John Newton, "that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Saviour."
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