The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he said, "OK, you can ask for something but it has to be for someone other than yourself. What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother," said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you," smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? "
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Dog Manger"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw86
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Christian Quotation of the Day
Monday, December 21, 2009
Meditation:
So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done
this, cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild
animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all
the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and
the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush
your head, and you will strike his heel."
--Genesis 3:14-15 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
I have this running quandary about Christmas. I get upset
about it, because I feel that we American Christians make too
much of it, and too little. Too little of it, because we pile
all sorts of other things onto it, including some that have
only the feeblest connection with the Event it is supposed to
commemorate. If God did become a man, in any real sense, it is
the most important thing that ever happened. Surely we, who
believe it, could well devote one day a year to uninterrupted
contemplation of the fact, and let Saturnalia fall on the
winter solstice, where it belongs.
On the other hand, we make so much of the actual birth, and
forget the things that make it more than just the birth of a
baby (though even that is, in Walt Whitman's phrase, "miracle
enough to stagger sextillions of infidels"*)--more, even, than
the birth of the greatest man who ever lived. We forget the
promise to Eve of a descendant who will solve the problem of
Evil; the promise to Abraham of one by whom all mankind will be
blessed; the promise to Moses of a greater prophet than he, to
arise from his people; and the promise to David of a Son who
would be his Master. We forget about the eternal Purpose behind
it all: it's like telling a story and leaving out the point.
Yes, it is true that God gave us His Son, and so maybe we ought
also to give gifts--but what, and to whom? It is also true that
God gave us Himself, and the only sensible response to that is
to give ourselves to Him. There is nothing else that He wants
from us, or, if there is something, He can take it. Only I, my
ego, my heart, is truly mine to give or to withhold--and is
therefore the appropriate gift to Him.
* Walt Whitman (1819-1892), Song of Myself, in Leaves of
Grass
... Robert MacColl Adams (1913-1985), letter, 1982
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, I give You my life for what You have given me.
CQOD Compilation Copyright 2009, Robert McAnally Adams, Curator
Sub to CQOD HTML: cqodh-subscribe@cqod.com
Meditation:
So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done
this, cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild
animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all
the days of your life. And I will put enmity between you and
the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush
your head, and you will strike his heel."
--Genesis 3:14-15 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
I have this running quandary about Christmas. I get upset
about it, because I feel that we American Christians make too
much of it, and too little. Too little of it, because we pile
all sorts of other things onto it, including some that have
only the feeblest connection with the Event it is supposed to
commemorate. If God did become a man, in any real sense, it is
the most important thing that ever happened. Surely we, who
believe it, could well devote one day a year to uninterrupted
contemplation of the fact, and let Saturnalia fall on the
winter solstice, where it belongs.
On the other hand, we make so much of the actual birth, and
forget the things that make it more than just the birth of a
baby (though even that is, in Walt Whitman's phrase, "miracle
enough to stagger sextillions of infidels"*)--more, even, than
the birth of the greatest man who ever lived. We forget the
promise to Eve of a descendant who will solve the problem of
Evil; the promise to Abraham of one by whom all mankind will be
blessed; the promise to Moses of a greater prophet than he, to
arise from his people; and the promise to David of a Son who
would be his Master. We forget about the eternal Purpose behind
it all: it's like telling a story and leaving out the point.
Yes, it is true that God gave us His Son, and so maybe we ought
also to give gifts--but what, and to whom? It is also true that
God gave us Himself, and the only sensible response to that is
to give ourselves to Him. There is nothing else that He wants
from us, or, if there is something, He can take it. Only I, my
ego, my heart, is truly mine to give or to withhold--and is
therefore the appropriate gift to Him.
* Walt Whitman (1819-1892), Song of Myself, in Leaves of
Grass
... Robert MacColl Adams (1913-1985), letter, 1982
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, I give You my life for what You have given me.
CQOD Compilation Copyright 2009, Robert McAnally Adams, Curator
Sub to CQOD HTML: cqodh-subscribe@cqod.com
Friday, December 11, 2009
Legalese Night Before Christmas
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS in Legalese
(Author unknown)
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as ("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"CD Burner"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw315
(Author unknown)
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as ("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"CD Burner"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw315
Friday, December 04, 2009
From "Desiring God Blog"
Simon the Pharisee: The Fuel of True Love for God
Posted: 04 Dec 2009 12:27 AM PST
(Author: Jon Bloom)
He had the Holy One of Israel in his house, reclining at his table. The Prophet that Moses had foretold was sharing dinner with him. The Lord of glory, the Resurrection and the Life, was speaking with him face to face. The great climactic moment of history he claimed to be living for had arrived. It should have been a deliriously wonderful, breathtaking honor for Simon to host the Messiah.
But Simon was not amazed. As he looked at Jesus, all he saw was a dusty Nazarene whose claims could be interpreted as delusional.
And Jesus' feet were still dirty. Offering foot washing to guests had been a deeply ingrained custom for Near Eastern peoples for thousands of years. To not offer it was to dishonor one's guest. It's not likely that Simon simply forgot.
But Jesus showed no sign of offense. And with the meal on the table, superficial pleasantries were exchanged. A few polite questions were asked.
Suddenly all eyes facing Jesus were filled with confused concern, focused toward his feet. Jesus looked back.
A woman was standing near him, clearly not part of the household. She was looking intensely at him, cradling a small jar in her hands. She began to sob and dropped to her knees. And as her tears flowed, she leaned over and let them drop on Jesus' soiled feet and wiped them off, along with the dirt, with her hair. Then she kissed Jesus' feet.
Gasps and mutterings were heard around the table. This woman had a reputation known to all the local guests. It was improper even to speak openly about what had given her this reputation. She was simply called a "sinner." Everyone knew what was packed into that word.
So everyone was mortified by this sinner's actions, except Jesus, apparently. He did not seem shocked. And he did nothing to stop her. An alarmed servant moved toward the woman but Simon waved him off. This was a revealing moment.
As Simon watched the woman pour fragrant oil from her jar on Jesus' feet, he felt both contempt and pleasure. His appraisal of Jesus was being vindicated before his eyes. Nothing spoke more eloquently of the falseness of this so-called prophet than his stunning lack of discernment regarding this immoral woman. No holy man would have let her pollute him with her touch. He began to rehearse what he would report to the Council.
"Simon, I have something to say to you." Jesus' words snapped Simon's attention back. "Say it, Teacher," he replied.
"A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt." And he said to him, "You have judged rightly."
Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."
And then Jesus spoke to the woman: "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace." (Quotes from Luke 7:40-49)
* * *
"He who is forgiven little, loves little." This little statement reveals a mammoth truth for us: We will love God to the degree that we recognize the magnitude of our sins and the immensity of God's grace to forgive them.
As a Pharisee, Simon likely had learned significant theological, memorized extensive portions of Scripture, exercised rigorous self-discipline, tithed meticulously, spent much time "serving" God, and enjoyed a reputation as a godly man. And yet he did not love God.
The woman, however, who had nothing to offer except shameful sin, was described by Jesus as a model for true worship. Why? Simply because she knew how desperately she needed the forgiveness Jesus offered in his gospel, and she believed that he could grant it.
That is what Jesus is looking for. That is the faith that saves.
True worship is a passionate love for God. And, for sinners like us, the fuel of that love is a profound realization, in the words of former slave trader-turned-pastor, John Newton, "that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Saviour."
Posted: 04 Dec 2009 12:27 AM PST
(Author: Jon Bloom)
He had the Holy One of Israel in his house, reclining at his table. The Prophet that Moses had foretold was sharing dinner with him. The Lord of glory, the Resurrection and the Life, was speaking with him face to face. The great climactic moment of history he claimed to be living for had arrived. It should have been a deliriously wonderful, breathtaking honor for Simon to host the Messiah.
But Simon was not amazed. As he looked at Jesus, all he saw was a dusty Nazarene whose claims could be interpreted as delusional.
And Jesus' feet were still dirty. Offering foot washing to guests had been a deeply ingrained custom for Near Eastern peoples for thousands of years. To not offer it was to dishonor one's guest. It's not likely that Simon simply forgot.
But Jesus showed no sign of offense. And with the meal on the table, superficial pleasantries were exchanged. A few polite questions were asked.
Suddenly all eyes facing Jesus were filled with confused concern, focused toward his feet. Jesus looked back.
A woman was standing near him, clearly not part of the household. She was looking intensely at him, cradling a small jar in her hands. She began to sob and dropped to her knees. And as her tears flowed, she leaned over and let them drop on Jesus' soiled feet and wiped them off, along with the dirt, with her hair. Then she kissed Jesus' feet.
Gasps and mutterings were heard around the table. This woman had a reputation known to all the local guests. It was improper even to speak openly about what had given her this reputation. She was simply called a "sinner." Everyone knew what was packed into that word.
So everyone was mortified by this sinner's actions, except Jesus, apparently. He did not seem shocked. And he did nothing to stop her. An alarmed servant moved toward the woman but Simon waved him off. This was a revealing moment.
As Simon watched the woman pour fragrant oil from her jar on Jesus' feet, he felt both contempt and pleasure. His appraisal of Jesus was being vindicated before his eyes. Nothing spoke more eloquently of the falseness of this so-called prophet than his stunning lack of discernment regarding this immoral woman. No holy man would have let her pollute him with her touch. He began to rehearse what he would report to the Council.
"Simon, I have something to say to you." Jesus' words snapped Simon's attention back. "Say it, Teacher," he replied.
"A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt." And he said to him, "You have judged rightly."
Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little."
And then Jesus spoke to the woman: "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace." (Quotes from Luke 7:40-49)
* * *
"He who is forgiven little, loves little." This little statement reveals a mammoth truth for us: We will love God to the degree that we recognize the magnitude of our sins and the immensity of God's grace to forgive them.
As a Pharisee, Simon likely had learned significant theological, memorized extensive portions of Scripture, exercised rigorous self-discipline, tithed meticulously, spent much time "serving" God, and enjoyed a reputation as a godly man. And yet he did not love God.
The woman, however, who had nothing to offer except shameful sin, was described by Jesus as a model for true worship. Why? Simply because she knew how desperately she needed the forgiveness Jesus offered in his gospel, and she believed that he could grant it.
That is what Jesus is looking for. That is the faith that saves.
True worship is a passionate love for God. And, for sinners like us, the fuel of that love is a profound realization, in the words of former slave trader-turned-pastor, John Newton, "that I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Saviour."
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Leaky Pipe
This will be the medical system response if abomanationcare is passed!!
A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the leaky pipe," he announced.
"I didn't call a plumber," said the lady.
"What?" huffed the plumber. "Aren't you Mrs. Frobisher?"
The Frobishers moved out of this house over a year ago," explained the lady.
"How do you like that," grunted the plumber. "They call you up and tell you it's an emergency and then they move away!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the leaky pipe," he announced.
"I didn't call a plumber," said the lady.
"What?" huffed the plumber. "Aren't you Mrs. Frobisher?"
The Frobishers moved out of this house over a year ago," explained the lady.
"How do you like that," grunted the plumber. "They call you up and tell you it's an emergency and then they move away!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Missionaries Bring Hope to India's Flood Victims - Gospel for Asia
The following web page is well worth reading. The need is beyond what most of us can comprehend.
Missionaries Bring Hope to India's Flood Victims - Gospel for Asia
Shared via AddThis
Missionaries Bring Hope to India's Flood Victims - Gospel for Asia
Shared via AddThis
Friday, September 25, 2009
A nun in Hooters
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.' 'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?' 'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'
'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun. 'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out..
Now, how about that drink?'
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Walk-in Scream
A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him what had happened.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another exam room.
The doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?!"
The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking up, asked, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him what had happened.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another exam room.
The doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?!"
The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking up, asked, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Monday, September 21, 2009
Failing Eyesight
An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was nervous because her eyesight was failing and was afraid her friend might reject her because she was less than perfect. So, she came up with a plan to prove to him that she could see perfectly.
She put a straight pin in a tree that was about 200 feet from her front porch.
When her beau arrived, they sat in the porch swing and were talking when she suddenly stopped the conversation and asked, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?"
Her friend squinted his eyes and said, "I don't see a thing."
"Well, I'm going to go see," she said as she jumped up, ran toward the tree, and collided with a cow.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Baby Shave"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw33
She put a straight pin in a tree that was about 200 feet from her front porch.
When her beau arrived, they sat in the porch swing and were talking when she suddenly stopped the conversation and asked, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?"
Her friend squinted his eyes and said, "I don't see a thing."
"Well, I'm going to go see," she said as she jumped up, ran toward the tree, and collided with a cow.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Baby Shave"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw33
Monday, September 14, 2009
Biblical knowledge without Agape Love
Christian Quotation of the Day
Monday, September 14, 2009
Feast of the Holy Cross
Meditation:
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries
and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move
mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
--1 Corinthians 13:2 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
Learned men and great scholars have devoted great effort
and prolonged study to the Holy Scriptures... employing the
gifts which God gives to every person who has the use of
reason. This knowledge is good... but it does not bring with it
any spiritual experience of God, for these graces are granted
only to those who have a great love for Him. This fountain of
love issues from our Lord alone, and no stranger may approach
it. But knowledge of this kind is common to good and bad alike,
since it can be acquired without love, ... and men of a worldly
life are sometimes more knowledgeable than many true Christians
although they do not possess this love. St. Paul describes this
kind of knowledge: "If I had full knowledge of all things and
knew all secrets, but had no love, I should be nothing." Some
people who possess this knowledge become proud and misuse it in
order to increase their personal reputation, worldly rank,
honours and riches, when they should use it humbly to the
praise of God and for the benefit of their fellow Christians in
true charity. St. Paul says of this kind of knowledge:
"Knowledge by itself stirs the heart with pride, but united to
love it turns to edification." By itself this knowledge is like
water, tasteless and cold. But if those who have it will offer
it humbly to our Lord and ask for His grace, He will turn the
water into wine with His blessing.
... Walter Hilton (1330?-1396), The Scale of Perfection
[early 15th century], tr. Lionel Digby Sherley-Price,
London: Penguin Books, 1957, p. 4
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs167
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, add love to my understanding of You.
_______________________________________________________________
CQOD Compilation Copyright 2009, Robert McAnally Adams, Curator
Sub to CQOD HTML: cqodh-subscribe@cqod.com
Monday, September 14, 2009
Feast of the Holy Cross
Meditation:
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries
and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move
mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
--1 Corinthians 13:2 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
Learned men and great scholars have devoted great effort
and prolonged study to the Holy Scriptures... employing the
gifts which God gives to every person who has the use of
reason. This knowledge is good... but it does not bring with it
any spiritual experience of God, for these graces are granted
only to those who have a great love for Him. This fountain of
love issues from our Lord alone, and no stranger may approach
it. But knowledge of this kind is common to good and bad alike,
since it can be acquired without love, ... and men of a worldly
life are sometimes more knowledgeable than many true Christians
although they do not possess this love. St. Paul describes this
kind of knowledge: "If I had full knowledge of all things and
knew all secrets, but had no love, I should be nothing." Some
people who possess this knowledge become proud and misuse it in
order to increase their personal reputation, worldly rank,
honours and riches, when they should use it humbly to the
praise of God and for the benefit of their fellow Christians in
true charity. St. Paul says of this kind of knowledge:
"Knowledge by itself stirs the heart with pride, but united to
love it turns to edification." By itself this knowledge is like
water, tasteless and cold. But if those who have it will offer
it humbly to our Lord and ask for His grace, He will turn the
water into wine with His blessing.
... Walter Hilton (1330?-1396), The Scale of Perfection
[early 15th century], tr. Lionel Digby Sherley-Price,
London: Penguin Books, 1957, p. 4
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs167
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, add love to my understanding of You.
_______________________________________________________________
CQOD Compilation Copyright 2009, Robert McAnally Adams, Curator
Sub to CQOD HTML: cqodh-subscribe@cqod.com
Friday, September 04, 2009
Grabber of the Impossible
Christian Quotation of the Day
Friday, September 4, 2009
Commemoration of Birinus, Bishop of Dorchester (Oxon),
Apostle of Wessex, 650
Meditation:
Great is the LORD, and most worthy of praise, in the city
of our God, his holy mountain.
--Psalm 48:1 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
I belong and will ever belong to "The Great God Party." I
will have nought to do with "The Little God Party..." Christ
wants not nibblers of the possible, but grabbers of the
impossible.
... C. T. Studd (1860-1931), C. T. Studd--Cricketer and
Pioneer [1933], Norman P. Grubb, Read Books, 2008, p.
164-165
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs158
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, embolden Your people.
_______________________________________________________________
CQOD Compilation Copyright 2009, Robert McAnally Adams, Curator
Sub to CQOD HTML: cqodh-subscribe@cqod.com
CQOD Home Page: http://www.cqod.com/
Friday, September 4, 2009
Commemoration of Birinus, Bishop of Dorchester (Oxon),
Apostle of Wessex, 650
Meditation:
Great is the LORD, and most worthy of praise, in the city
of our God, his holy mountain.
--Psalm 48:1 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
I belong and will ever belong to "The Great God Party." I
will have nought to do with "The Little God Party..." Christ
wants not nibblers of the possible, but grabbers of the
impossible.
... C. T. Studd (1860-1931), C. T. Studd--Cricketer and
Pioneer [1933], Norman P. Grubb, Read Books, 2008, p.
164-165
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs158
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, embolden Your people.
_______________________________________________________________
CQOD Compilation Copyright 2009, Robert McAnally Adams, Curator
Sub to CQOD HTML: cqodh-subscribe@cqod.com
CQOD Home Page: http://www.cqod.com/
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Evangelism: Trusting the Lifeboat
And he brought them out and said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" So they said, "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household." --Acts 16:30-31
Now, the matter of complete trust in the person of Christ.
No man has any hope for eternal salvation apart from trusting completely in Jesus Christ and His atonement for men. Simply stated, our Lord Jesus is the lifeboat and we must fully and truly be committed to trusting the lifeboat.
Again, our Lord and Savior is the rope by which it is possible to escape from the burning building. There is no doubt about it--either we trust that rope or we perish.
He is the wonder drug or medication that heals all ills and sicknesses--and if we refuse it, we die.
He is the bridge from hell to heaven--and we take the bridge and cross over by His grace or we stay in hell.
These are simple illustrations, but they get to the point of the necessity of complete trust in Jesus Christ--absolute trust in Him! Who Put Jesus on the Cross?, 52.
"Lord, help me to make this clear as I share the Gospel. So many seem to persist in wanting to trust Christ plus their own efforts. Thank You for this free gift of salvation. Amen."
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers
Now, the matter of complete trust in the person of Christ.
No man has any hope for eternal salvation apart from trusting completely in Jesus Christ and His atonement for men. Simply stated, our Lord Jesus is the lifeboat and we must fully and truly be committed to trusting the lifeboat.
Again, our Lord and Savior is the rope by which it is possible to escape from the burning building. There is no doubt about it--either we trust that rope or we perish.
He is the wonder drug or medication that heals all ills and sicknesses--and if we refuse it, we die.
He is the bridge from hell to heaven--and we take the bridge and cross over by His grace or we stay in hell.
These are simple illustrations, but they get to the point of the necessity of complete trust in Jesus Christ--absolute trust in Him! Who Put Jesus on the Cross?, 52.
"Lord, help me to make this clear as I share the Gospel. So many seem to persist in wanting to trust Christ plus their own efforts. Thank You for this free gift of salvation. Amen."
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Prescription Check
An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you've been giving to Mrs. Smith."
"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?"
The old man says, "Since he found out I've been on birth control pills since February."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Comedian Wannabe"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw13
"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?"
The old man says, "Since he found out I've been on birth control pills since February."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Comedian Wannabe"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw13
Monday, August 24, 2009
Tree Trouble
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, Dad was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped.
One warm April day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give our dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor watched the scene with amusement. "Frank," he finally commented, "you're the only man I know who walks his tree and waters his dog!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Elephant Caddy"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw12
One warm April day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give our dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor watched the scene with amusement. "Frank," he finally commented, "you're the only man I know who walks his tree and waters his dog!"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Elephant Caddy"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw12
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Psalm 111
Praise for the LORD's Works
1 Hallelujah!
I will praise the LORD with all my heart
in the assembly of the upright and in the congregation.
2 The LORD's works are great,
studied by all who delight in them.
3 All that He does is splendid and majestic;
His righteousness endures forever.
4 He has caused His wonderful works to be remembered.
The LORD is gracious and compassionate.
5 He has provided food for those who fear Him;
He remembers His covenant forever.
6 He has shown His people the power of His works
by giving them the inheritance of the nations.
7 The works of His hands are truth and justice;
all His instructions are trustworthy.
8 They are established forever and ever,
enacted in truth and uprightness.
9 He has sent redemption to His people.
He has ordained His covenant forever.
His name is holy and awe-inspiring.
10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow His instructions have good insight.
His praise endures forever.
From the Holman Christian Standard Bible
1 Hallelujah!
I will praise the LORD with all my heart
in the assembly of the upright and in the congregation.
2 The LORD's works are great,
studied by all who delight in them.
3 All that He does is splendid and majestic;
His righteousness endures forever.
4 He has caused His wonderful works to be remembered.
The LORD is gracious and compassionate.
5 He has provided food for those who fear Him;
He remembers His covenant forever.
6 He has shown His people the power of His works
by giving them the inheritance of the nations.
7 The works of His hands are truth and justice;
all His instructions are trustworthy.
8 They are established forever and ever,
enacted in truth and uprightness.
9 He has sent redemption to His people.
He has ordained His covenant forever.
His name is holy and awe-inspiring.
10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow His instructions have good insight.
His praise endures forever.
From the Holman Christian Standard Bible
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Cell Phone Find
An employee of the airport found a cell phone in one of the boarding areas. She switched it on, hoping a caller would identify the owner. It rang, and she answered it, but there was no response. When it rang a second time, another female employee answered, and the same thing happened.
Moments later, a supervisor came by and picked up the ringing phone. "This is Bob. May I help you?"
"Bob," the bewildered woman caller finally spoke. "Where is Bill, and who are those two women he's with?"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Japanese Proverb"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw8
Moments later, a supervisor came by and picked up the ringing phone. "This is Bob. May I help you?"
"Bob," the bewildered woman caller finally spoke. "Where is Bill, and who are those two women he's with?"
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Japanese Proverb"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw8
Monday, August 17, 2009
I met God in the morning
I met God in the morning
When my day was at its best.
His presence came like sunrise,
A Glory in my breast.
All day long the presence lingered.
All day long He stayed with me.
And we sailed in perfect calmness
O’er a very troubled sea.
So I think I know the secret,
Learned by many a troubled way.
You must seek Him in the morning
If you want Him through the day.
Author Unknown
When my day was at its best.
His presence came like sunrise,
A Glory in my breast.
All day long the presence lingered.
All day long He stayed with me.
And we sailed in perfect calmness
O’er a very troubled sea.
So I think I know the secret,
Learned by many a troubled way.
You must seek Him in the morning
If you want Him through the day.
Author Unknown
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Sermon Comment
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Thursday, August 13, 2009
The Beginning
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.
"I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth..."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Bad Day Convertible"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw5
"I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth..."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
*Eye Laugh*
"Bad Day Convertible"
http://www.cybersalt.org/go.php?id=cw5
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Meditation:
If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even
Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our
preaching is useless and so is your faith.
--1 Corinthians 15:13,14 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
If it be all for naught, for nothingness
At last, why does God make the world so fair?
Why spill this golden splendor out across
The western hills, and light the silver lamp
Of eve? Why give me eyes to see, and soul
To love so strong and deep? Then, with a pang
This brightness stabs me through, and wakes within
Rebellious voice to cry against all death?
Why set this hunger for eternity
To gnaw my heartstrings through, if death ends all?
If death ends all, then evil must be good,
Wrong must be right, and beauty ugliness.
God is a Judas who betrays His Son,
And with a kiss, damns all the world to hell,--
If Christ rose not again.
... Anonymous, Unknown soldier, killed in World War I,
included in Masterpieces of Religious Verse, James
Dalton Morrison, ed., New York: Harper & Bros., 1948,
p. 205
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs132
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, You vindicate Your creation.
Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our
preaching is useless and so is your faith.
--1 Corinthians 15:13,14 (NIV)
_______________________________________________________________
Quotation:
If it be all for naught, for nothingness
At last, why does God make the world so fair?
Why spill this golden splendor out across
The western hills, and light the silver lamp
Of eve? Why give me eyes to see, and soul
To love so strong and deep? Then, with a pang
This brightness stabs me through, and wakes within
Rebellious voice to cry against all death?
Why set this hunger for eternity
To gnaw my heartstrings through, if death ends all?
If death ends all, then evil must be good,
Wrong must be right, and beauty ugliness.
God is a Judas who betrays His Son,
And with a kiss, damns all the world to hell,--
If Christ rose not again.
... Anonymous, Unknown soldier, killed in World War I,
included in Masterpieces of Religious Verse, James
Dalton Morrison, ed., New York: Harper & Bros., 1948,
p. 205
See the book at http://cqod.com/r/rs132
_______________________________________________________________
Quiet time reflection:
Lord, You vindicate Your creation.
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