An Interesting Point of View

Finally, something that makes sense!

Some people have the vocabulary to sum up things in a way you can understand them. This quote came from the Czech Republic. Someone over there has it figured out. We have a lot of work to do.

“The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president."

"The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America . Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince.

The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president.”

1 Samuel 8:10 And Samuel told all the words of the LORD unto the people that asked of him a king. 11 And he said, This will be the manner of the king that shall reign over you: He will take your sons, and appoint them for himself, for his chariots, and to be his horsemen; and some shall run before his chariots. 12 And he will appoint him captains over thousands, and captains over fifties; and will set them to ear his ground, and to reap his harvest, and to make his instruments of war, and instruments of his chariots. 13 And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers. 14 And he will take your fields, and your vineyards, and your oliveyards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants. 15 And he will take the tenth of your seed, and of your vineyards, and give to his officersc, and to his servants. 16 And he will take your menservants, and your maidservants, and your goodliest young men, and your asses, and put them to his work. 17 He will take the tenth of your sheep: and ye shall be his servants. 18 And ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen ; and the LORD will not hear you in that day. 19 Nevertheless the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay; but we will have a king over us; 20 That we also may be like all the nations; and that our king may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles. 21 And Samuel heard all the words of the people, and he rehearsed them in the ears of the LORD. 22 And the LORD said to Samuel, Hearken unto their voice, and make them a king.[1]

Vern Holmquist
President
Pinnacle Insurance Agency, Inc
PO Box 28306
Scottsdale, AZ 85255
480-513-3131
480-563-8132 (Fax)

Sunday Drive

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies-two in the front seat and three in the back-wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty- two miles an hour!" the woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

CHANGEABLE experiences

“He led them by a straight way.” Psalm 107:7

CHANGEABLE experiences often lead an anxious believer to ask, “Why is this happening to me?” I looked for light, but lo, darkness came; for peace, but behold, trouble. I said in my heart, my mountain stands firm, I shall never be moved. Lord, You do hide your face, and I am troubled. It was only yesterday that I could read my name clearly; today my evidences are made dim, and my hopes are clouded. Yesterday I could climb to Pisgah̓s top, and look over the landscape, and rejoice with confidence in my future inheritance; today, my spirit has no hopes, but many fears; no joys, but much distress. Is this part of God̓s plan with me? Can this be the way in which God would bring me to heaven? Yes, it is even so. The eclipse of your faith, the darkness of your mind, the fainting of your hope, all these things are but parts of God̓s method of making you ripe for the great inheritance upon which you shall soon enter. These trials are for the testing and strengthening of your faith — they are waves that wash you further upon the rock — they are winds which waft your ship the more swiftly towards the desired haven. According to David̓s words, so it might be said of you, “He guided them to their desired haven.” By honor and dishonor, by evil report and by good report, by plenty and by poverty, by joy and by distress, by persecution and by peace, by all these things is the life of your souls maintained, and by each of these are you helped on your way. Oh, do not think, believer, that your sorrows are out of God̓s plan; they are necessary parts of it. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom.” Learn, then, even to “consider it pure joy . . . whenever you face trials of many kinds.”

“O let my trembling soul be still,
And wait Thy wise, Thy holy will!
I cannot, Lord, Thy purpose see,
Yet all is well since ruled by Thee.”

From: Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, May 22 morning devotion.

Parachute Training

While attending US Army's Airborne School.....

The Day before our first jump, the instructors (known as SGT Airbornes, students are called 'Airborne') demonstrated all the possible malfunctions one might encounter.

After watching a total malfunction, i.e. the parachute fails to deploy, one of the students asked: "SGT Airborne, if we have a complete malfunction, how much time do we have to deploy our reserve parachutes?"

"Airborne, you have the REST of your life to deploy that reserve!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

The Ideal Pastor

Credits due: www.ChurchLaughs.com

Actual Signs

Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you will be unbearable."

Leipzig elevator - "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up"

Belgrade elevator - "To move the cabin, push forward for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for a wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order"

Paris elevator - "Please leave your values at the front desk."

Athenian hotel - "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of....."

Moscow Hotel - "You are invited to visit the cemetery where famous Soviet composers, authors and artists are buried daily except Thursday."

Austrian ski hotel - "Do not perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."

Swiss menu - "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Polish menu - "Salad of firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."

Hong Kong dress shop - "Ladies have fits upstairs."

Rhodes tailor shop - "Order your summer suit because it is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

Germany's Black Forest - "It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married together for that reason."

Swedish furrier - "Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin."

Japanese detour sign - "Stop: Drive sideways."

Swiss mountain inn - "Special today - no ice cream."

Copenhagen airline office - "We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Budapest zoo - "Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."

Acapulco hotel - "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

Japanese air conditioner - "Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself."

Tokyo car rental firm - "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour."

Norwegian cocktail bar - "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

At Prayer Meeting

There were only two or three of us
Who came to the place of prayer—
Came in the teeth of a driving storm;
But for that we did not care,
Since after our hymns of praise had risen,
And our earnest prayers were said,
The Master Himself was present there
And gave us the living, bread.

We knew His look in our leader̓s face
So rapt and glad and free:
We felt His touch when our heads were bowed.
We heard His “Come to me.”
Nobody saw Him lift the latch,
And none unbarred the door;
But “peace” was His token to every heart,
And how could we ask for more?

Each of us felt the load of sin
From the weary shoulders fall:
Each of us dropped the load of care,
And the grief that̓s like a pail
And o̓er our spirits a blessed calm
Swept in from the Jasper sea,
And strength was ours for toil and strife
In the days that were thence to be.

It was only a handful gathered in
To the little place of prayer;
Outside were struggle and pain and sin,
But the Lord Himself was there
He came to redeem the pledge He gave—
Wherever His loved ones be
To stand Himself in the midst of them
Though they count but two or three.

And forth we faced In the bitter rain
And our hearts had grown so warm,
It seemed like the pelting of summer flowers
And not the crash of storm
“”Twas a time of the dearest privilege
Of the Lord̓s right hand,” we said,
As we thought how Jesus Himself had come
To feed us with living bread.

Curfew

This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m. for anyone under seventeen years of age.

He told his Dad how happy he was that now he could stay out until 3:00 a.m. if he wanted.

"Yes you can stay out as late as you want, but the car is under seventeen and it has to be in the garage by eleven." His father said.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Preaching: John 3:16

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. --John 3:16

I have heard that John 3:16 is a favorite preaching text for young
preachers, but I confess that as far as I can recall, I have never had the courage to prepare and preach a sermon with John 3:16 as my text. I suppose I have quoted it as many as 15,000 or 20,000 times in prayer and in testimony, in writing and in preaching, but never as a sermon text....

I think my own hesitation to preach from John 3:16 comes down to this: I appreciate it so profoundly that I am frightened by it--I am overwhelmed by John 3:16 to the point of inadequacy, almost of despair. Along with this is my knowledge that if a minister is to
try to preach John 3:16 he must be endowed with great sympathy and a genuine love for God and man....

So, I approach it. I approach it as one who is filled with great fear and yet great fascination. I take off my shoes, my heart shoes, at least, as I come to this declaration that God so loved the world. Christ the Eternal Son, pp.85-86.

"Lord, I take off my 'heart shoes' this morning as well as I contemplate this awesome thought. I bow before You in fear and fascination before this text--but also just at the incredible task and privilege of preaching and teaching any portion of Your inspired Word. Amen."


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Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers


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Hell is not an “oops!”

We should be very sure that the ruined soul is not one who has missed a few more or less important theological points and will flunk a theological examination at the end of life. Hell is not an “oops!” or a slip. One does not miss heaven by a hair, but by constant effort to avoid and escape God. “Outer darkness” is for one who, everything said, wants it, whose entire orientation has slowly and firmly set itself against God and therefore against how the universe actually is. It is for those who are disastrously in error about their own life and their place before God and man. The mined soul must be willing to hear of and recognize its own ruin before it can find how to enter a different path, the path of eternal life that naturally leads into spiritual formation in Christlikeness.
Dallas Willard (b. 1935), The Renovation of the Heart, Colorado Springs, Cob.: Navpress, 2002, p. 59
See the book at http://cgod.com/r/rs382

The One Who Stills the Seas

Below is from "Desiring God Blog."

Posted: 05 May 2010 07:59 AM PDT

(Author: David Mathis)

Why were Jesus' disciples so wigged out when he stilled the sea? Already afraid of the great storm, you'd think they might have been calmed by Jesus' calming of the waves. But it seemed to have the opposite effect. Mark 4:41: "And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, 'Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey him?'"

The disciples now seem to be perplexed about their master's identity. "Who then is this . . . ?" Stilling the sea is such a show-stopping demonstration of power that flooding their souls isn't the happy realization that their buddy Jesus has more power than they had estimated, but the unnerving new awareness that they may have misunderstood his very identity.

Knowing the Psalms, they must have known who it is that stills the seas.

Psalm 65:7 identifies God as the one "who stills the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves."
In Psalm 89:9, the psalmist ascribes this praise to Yahweh: "You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, you still them."
Psalm 93:4 asserts, "Mightier than the thunders of many waters, mightier than the waves of the sea, the LORD on high is mighty!"
And Psalm 107:29 claims of Yahweh, "He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed."
The disciples are dreadfully disoriented because they are aware that the one who stills the seas is Yahweh himself. Stilling the seas doesn't reveal Jesus to be a mere miracle-worker with extraordinary powers, but Yahweh himself come in the flesh. God is in the dinghy with them.

"Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey him?" The undeniable response is too unspeakably great, too wonderfully strange, too pleasantly confusing to utter. Being filled with fear is a fitting response, as is marveling (Matthew 8:27). Their Jesus is Yahweh himself, the one who still the seas.

The God-man is their fellow seafarer, and their who-question is yet too terrifically terrifying to answer.

Security and Worry

Today's post is a link to Dr. James Denison's Blog page.

In today's world of crime and violence to say nothing of the radical religious people committed to the extermination of all Christians, it is a breath of fresh air to read articles such as the one linked to below. Enjoy.

Click Here

Sermon Feedback

They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant.

An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground."

The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Manservant

Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. "Can you start the breakfast by seven o'clock?" asked the minister.

"I guess so," answered the man.

"Can you polish all the silver, wash all the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the lawn, wash windows, iron clothes and keep the house neat and tidy?"

"Say, preacher," said the young fellow rather meekly, "I came here to see about getting married but if it's going to be as much work as all that, you can count me out right now."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Heart-Balm

Tell me about the Master;
I am weary and worn tonight,
The day lies behind me in a shadow,
And only the evening is light!
Light with a radiant glory
That lingers about the west
My poor heart is aweary, aweary
And longs, like a child for rest.


Tell me about the Master!
Of the hills He in loneliness trod.
When the tears and the blood of his anguish Dropped down on Judea̓s sod.
For to me life̓s seventy milestones
But a sorrowful journey mark;
Rough lies the hill-country before me,
The mountains behind me are dark.

Tell me about the Master!
Of the wrongs He freely forgave;
Of His love and tender compassion,
Of His love that is mighty to save;
For my heart is aweary, aweary,
Of the woes and temptations of life,
Of the terror that stalks in the noonday,
Of the falsehood and malice and strife.

Yet I know that, whatever of sorrow
Or pain or temptation befall,
The Infinite Master has suffered,
And knoweth and pitieth all,
So tell me the sweet, old story
That falls on each wound like a balm,
And my heart that was bruised and broken,
Shall grow patient and strong and calm,