Just Humor

Got to take the wife to Austin today so the post will be humorous pieces.
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MountainWings A MountainWings Moment#6242
Wings Over The Mountains of Life
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Grave Service
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As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service in a new cemetery for a derelict man (with no family or friends) who had died while traveling through the area.

The cemetery was way back in the country. This man would be the first to be laid to rest at this new cemetery.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost.

Being the typical man I didn't stop for directions. And when I finally arrived an hour late, I saw a crew and a backhoe, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

The workmen were eating lunch. I apologized for my tardiness, but the workers just looked puzzled. I stepped to the side of the open grave, to find the vault lid already in place.

I assured the workers I would not hold them long, but this was the proper thing to do.

As the workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul.

As I preached, the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord" and "Glory," (they must have all been Baptist). I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached before. I began from Genesis and worked all the way through to Revelation. I preached for 45 minutes.

It was a long service. Finally, I closed in prayer and it was finished.

As I was walking to my car, I felt that I had done my duty and I would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, inspite of my tardiness. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another..."Ya know, I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years, but I ain't never seen anything like that before."

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Today's Oneliner "Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive."From Pastor Tim
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An attorney was driving through the countryside when his car failed him. He looked under the hood and knocked a few items around with a hammer. In the process he knocked off a gas line and got his arm soaked with gas before getting it back on. Discouraged, he attempted to start his car. Much to his surprise it started, and he headed for the nearest town for a permanent repair. To celebrate his success, he lit up acigarette, at which time his arm exploded into flames. He stuck his arm out the window, hoping the wind at 50 miles per hour would put it out.

He was promptly pulled over by a local constable and given a ticket for an illegal use of a firearm.

Received from The Daily Groaner.

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