A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs."
Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!
The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
True story... Have a great day and remember...
THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
A. W. Tozer
The following is todays "Insight For Leaders" emailing from http://www.litmin.org/
January 30
Personal Life: Accountability to God
And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment. --Hebrews 9:27
It was the belief in the accountability of man to his maker that made America a great nation. Among those earlier leaders was Daniel Webster whose blazing eyes and fiery oratory often held the Senate spellbound. In those days the Congress was composed of strong, noble statesmen who carried the weight of the nation in their hearts and minds.
Someone asked: "Mr. Webster, what do you consider the most serious thought that has ever entered your mind?"
"The most solemn thought that has ever entered my mind is my accountability to my maker," he replied.
Men like that cannot be corrupted and bought. They do not have to worry if someone listens to their telephone calls. What they were in character and in deportment resulted from their belief that they would finally be accountable to God. Echoes from Eden, 130.
"Lord, help me to live my life today in such a way that, should You call me tonight to stand before You and give account, I would have nothing of which I would need to be ashamed. Amen."
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers
January 30
Personal Life: Accountability to God
And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment. --Hebrews 9:27
It was the belief in the accountability of man to his maker that made America a great nation. Among those earlier leaders was Daniel Webster whose blazing eyes and fiery oratory often held the Senate spellbound. In those days the Congress was composed of strong, noble statesmen who carried the weight of the nation in their hearts and minds.
Someone asked: "Mr. Webster, what do you consider the most serious thought that has ever entered your mind?"
"The most solemn thought that has ever entered my mind is my accountability to my maker," he replied.
Men like that cannot be corrupted and bought. They do not have to worry if someone listens to their telephone calls. What they were in character and in deportment resulted from their belief that they would finally be accountable to God. Echoes from Eden, 130.
"Lord, help me to live my life today in such a way that, should You call me tonight to stand before You and give account, I would have nothing of which I would need to be ashamed. Amen."
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Coffee
A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor.
The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite.
Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.
When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering.
''You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems."
He continued. "Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups. Then you began eying each other's cups.''
''Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us. God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!''
The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything. So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.
Leave the Rest to God. And remember -
The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
Thanks to Leann for the above article.
The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite.
Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.
When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering.
''You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems."
He continued. "Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups. Then you began eying each other's cups.''
''Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us. God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!''
The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything. So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.
Leave the Rest to God. And remember -
The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
Thanks to Leann for the above article.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Four Great Short Stories
Here are a few military comebacks...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'
It became very quiet in the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
Once again, dead silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'Whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...
A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.
At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
Thanks Ted for this one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'
It became very quiet in the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
Once again, dead silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'Whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...
A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.
At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
Thanks Ted for this one!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The Cab Ride
Sweet story:
THE CAB RIDE
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living.
When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away.
But, I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.
So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like someb ody out of a 1940s movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness.
"It's nothing ", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".
"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.
When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".
I loo ked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."
I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."
We drove in silence to the address she had given me.
It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up.
They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door..
The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said.
"You have to make a living," she answered.
"There are other passengers," I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light.
Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.
What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT ~ THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. Every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.
Thank you Mel for this one.
THE CAB RIDE
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living.
When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away.
But, I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.
So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like someb ody out of a 1940s movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness.
"It's nothing ", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".
"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.
When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".
I loo ked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."
I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."
We drove in silence to the address she had given me.
It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up.
They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door..
The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said.
"You have to make a living," she answered.
"There are other passengers," I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light.
Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.
What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT ~ THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. Every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.
Thank you Mel for this one.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Pecans In The Cemetery
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick ," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
SMILE, God Loves You!
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick ," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
SMILE, God Loves You!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Mediocre Christians
The following is from an email received daily. I hope you appreciate the seriousness of the article.
January 23
Personal Life: It May Not Be Convenient
But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. --1 Corinthians 9:27
What must our Lord think of us if His work and His witness depend upon the convenience of His people? The truth is that every advance that we make for God and for His cause must be made at our inconvenience. If it does not inconvenience us at all, there is no cross in it! If we have been able to reduce spirituality to a smooth pattern and it costs us nothing--no disturbance, no bother and no element of sacrifice in it--we are not getting anywhere with God. We have stopped and pitched our unworthy tent halfway between the swamp and the peak.
We are mediocre Christians!
Was there ever a cross that was convenient? Was there ever a convenient way to die? I have never heard of any, and judgment is not going to be a matter of convenience, either! Yet we look around for convenience, thinking we can reach the mountain peak conveniently and without trouble or danger to ourselves.
Actually, mountain climbers are always in peril and they are always advancing at their inconvenience. I Talk Back to the Devil, 48.
"Lord, I don't know what You have in store for me today, in Your sovereign plan for my life. Help me to serve You faithfully, with full discipline, whether it's convenient or not. Amen."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 23
Personal Life: It May Not Be Convenient
But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. --1 Corinthians 9:27
What must our Lord think of us if His work and His witness depend upon the convenience of His people? The truth is that every advance that we make for God and for His cause must be made at our inconvenience. If it does not inconvenience us at all, there is no cross in it! If we have been able to reduce spirituality to a smooth pattern and it costs us nothing--no disturbance, no bother and no element of sacrifice in it--we are not getting anywhere with God. We have stopped and pitched our unworthy tent halfway between the swamp and the peak.
We are mediocre Christians!
Was there ever a cross that was convenient? Was there ever a convenient way to die? I have never heard of any, and judgment is not going to be a matter of convenience, either! Yet we look around for convenience, thinking we can reach the mountain peak conveniently and without trouble or danger to ourselves.
Actually, mountain climbers are always in peril and they are always advancing at their inconvenience. I Talk Back to the Devil, 48.
"Lord, I don't know what You have in store for me today, in Your sovereign plan for my life. Help me to serve You faithfully, with full discipline, whether it's convenient or not. Amen."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Gossiper
The Church Gossiper
Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new church member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone who saw it parked there would know exactly what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then just turned and alked away.
He didn't explain, defend , or deny... He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... Walked home.. And left it there all night.
You Gotta love George...
Thank you Kenneth L. for this one!
Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new church member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone who saw it parked there would know exactly what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then just turned and alked away.
He didn't explain, defend , or deny... He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... Walked home.. And left it there all night.
You Gotta love George...
Thank you Kenneth L. for this one!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Monday Musings
Yesterday was a very good day at church. The Sunday School lesson went well and the Pastor's sermon on the Sanctity of Life was excellent.
The broken left heel is apparently healed well. I can put considerable pressure on the cast without any pain. The cast will come off on Thursday and I can hardly wait. Just what activity will be possible with the walking boot is unknown now. Hopefully I can start doing some outside yard cleanup soon. Several pine trees that have fallen victim to the pine bark beetle need cutting down and removed.
This morning Mountain Wings has an excellent article. All Christians should read this piece to give a perspective on integration that is most revealing. It is a long read but well worth the time. I will not copy it to this blog but the web address is: http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8021.htm
Thought for today: Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.
..... Jimmy Johnson NFL Coach
The broken left heel is apparently healed well. I can put considerable pressure on the cast without any pain. The cast will come off on Thursday and I can hardly wait. Just what activity will be possible with the walking boot is unknown now. Hopefully I can start doing some outside yard cleanup soon. Several pine trees that have fallen victim to the pine bark beetle need cutting down and removed.
This morning Mountain Wings has an excellent article. All Christians should read this piece to give a perspective on integration that is most revealing. It is a long read but well worth the time. I will not copy it to this blog but the web address is: http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8021.htm
Thought for today: Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.
..... Jimmy Johnson NFL Coach
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Bran Muffins
BranMuffins
The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help wh en they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?," grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?," he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar ! or bloo d pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"
The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help wh en they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?," grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?," he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar ! or bloo d pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Grippe Comments
Today's CleanLaugh - "Gripe Comments"
After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines) which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs rep lacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpitS: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descentS: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget
The above is from:
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines) which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs rep lacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpitS: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descentS: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget
The above is from:
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Friday, January 18, 2008
Take My Son
This is great. It will make your day! The ending will surprise you.
"Take my Son"
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the gre at works of art.
When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.
He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out this package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."
The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift."
The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?"
There was silence.
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."
But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"
Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"
But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
"We have $10, who will bid $20?"
"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."
"$10 is the bid. Won't someone bid $20?"
The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"
A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!"
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over."
"What about the paintings?"
I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets everything!"
God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The son, the son, who'll take the son?"
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.
FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE
"Take my Son"
A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the gre at works of art.
When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.
He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out this package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."
The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift."
The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.
The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.
On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?"
There was silence.
Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."
But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"
Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"
But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"
Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.
"We have $10, who will bid $20?"
"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."
"$10 is the bid. Won't someone bid $20?"
The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.
The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"
A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!"
The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over."
"What about the paintings?"
I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets everything!"
God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The son, the son, who'll take the son?"
Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.
FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Little Old Lady
Little Old Lady
There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!"
One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"
Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every day. One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!
Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Lord!"
The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there. "PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES FOR ME!"
The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted: "THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"
The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"
Received from Donald Pohlner.
--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080117
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!"
One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"
Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every day. One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!
Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Lord!"
The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there. "PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES FOR ME!"
The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted: "THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"
The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"
Received from Donald Pohlner.
--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080117
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Most Embarrassing First Date
-------------------------------------------------
MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#8016 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
-------------------------------------------------
Sticky First Date
==================
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants down."
And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment... "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off." Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8016.htm
Thank you for inviting MountainWings into your mailbox.
Change a life, give a friend MountainWings.
See you tomorrow.
MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#8016 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
-------------------------------------------------
Sticky First Date
==================
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants down."
And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment... "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off." Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8016.htm
Thank you for inviting MountainWings into your mailbox.
Change a life, give a friend MountainWings.
See you tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A Little Too Heavy
A good friend sent the pictures. His comments are:
"I think this qualifies as an "OOPS" moment for sure!
A friend from Arkansas sent this.....so I'm assuming it happened somewhere close to him!"
Questions that come to mind is how to get the building back on its wheels. Also, the building must have a good strong frame to be able to be supported on both ends without buckling!
Maybe next time the mover will believe those signs that give the load limits of bridges.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Walk-in-Scream
Today's CleanLaugh - "Walk-in Scream"
A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him what had happened.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another exam room.
The doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?!"
The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking up, asked, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
Thanks Pastor Tim.
_________________________________________
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him what had happened.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another exam room.
The doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?!"
The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking up, asked, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
Thanks Pastor Tim.
_________________________________________
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The Bum
-------------------------------------------------
MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#1081 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
-------------------------------------------------
The Bum
========
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
James D. Miles
Everyone respects and helps the millionaire, the famous, the boss, those with beauty and brains. What about the bum on the street?
This is a real story. It happened to me, the writer of MountainWings.com.
I was parked in front of the church cleaning out my Jeep. I was waiting on someone. Coming my way from across the street was what society would consider a bum. From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of those "don't want to be bothered times."
"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.
He didn't.
He came and sat on the wall in front of the bus stop to wait on the bus. After a few minutes he spoke. "That's a very pretty Jeep," he said. He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly blond beard keep more than his face warm.
I said, "thanks," and continued cleaning out the Jeep.
He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never came. As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask him if he needs any help." I was sure that he would say "yes" but I held true to the inner voice.
"Do you need any help?" I asked.
He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and acomplishments. I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me.
"Don't we all?" he said.
I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge shotgun. Don't we all?
I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare, but enough to take a cab anywhere in the city and get food and shelter for the day.
Those three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help.
Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that. You never know when you may see someone who appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.
Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more than that. Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves. Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then said, "go minister to that man cleaning the Jeep, that man needs help."
Don't we all?
~A MountainWings Original~
The above is from Mountain Wings. This item can be found at: http://www.mountainwings.com/past/1081.htm
MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#1081 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
-------------------------------------------------
The Bum
========
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
James D. Miles
Everyone respects and helps the millionaire, the famous, the boss, those with beauty and brains. What about the bum on the street?
This is a real story. It happened to me, the writer of MountainWings.com.
I was parked in front of the church cleaning out my Jeep. I was waiting on someone. Coming my way from across the street was what society would consider a bum. From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of those "don't want to be bothered times."
"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.
He didn't.
He came and sat on the wall in front of the bus stop to wait on the bus. After a few minutes he spoke. "That's a very pretty Jeep," he said. He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly blond beard keep more than his face warm.
I said, "thanks," and continued cleaning out the Jeep.
He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never came. As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask him if he needs any help." I was sure that he would say "yes" but I held true to the inner voice.
"Do you need any help?" I asked.
He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and acomplishments. I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me.
"Don't we all?" he said.
I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge shotgun. Don't we all?
I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare, but enough to take a cab anywhere in the city and get food and shelter for the day.
Those three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help.
Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that. You never know when you may see someone who appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.
Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more than that. Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves. Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then said, "go minister to that man cleaning the Jeep, that man needs help."
Don't we all?
~A MountainWings Original~
The above is from Mountain Wings. This item can be found at: http://www.mountainwings.com/past/1081.htm
Saturday, January 12, 2008
What we hope to do
"The guests at a certain hotel were being made uncomfortable by the repeated strumming on a piano by a little girl who possessed no musical knowledge. They complained to the owner with the hope of having the annoyance stopped.
‘I am sorry you are annoyed,’ he said. ‘But the girl is the child of one of my very best guests. I can hardly ask her not to touch the piano. But her father, who is away for a day or so, will return tomorrow. You can approach him and have the matter settled.’
When the father returned, be found his daughter in the reception room thumping on the piano. He walked up behind the child, put his arms over her shoulders, took her hands in his, and produced some beautiful music.
So may it be with us, and so will it be some day. Just now, we can produce only clamor and disharmony; but, one day, the Lord Jesus will take hold of our hands of faith and prayer and use them to bring forth the music of the skies. "—Anonymous.
Unfortunately, the above only applies to those of us who have accepted the Lord Jesus as our Saviour and Lord. If the reader is not one who believes yet, may we suggest that you visit the following web page and read about God's Love: http://www.ingalls5.com
Have a good day.
‘I am sorry you are annoyed,’ he said. ‘But the girl is the child of one of my very best guests. I can hardly ask her not to touch the piano. But her father, who is away for a day or so, will return tomorrow. You can approach him and have the matter settled.’
When the father returned, be found his daughter in the reception room thumping on the piano. He walked up behind the child, put his arms over her shoulders, took her hands in his, and produced some beautiful music.
So may it be with us, and so will it be some day. Just now, we can produce only clamor and disharmony; but, one day, the Lord Jesus will take hold of our hands of faith and prayer and use them to bring forth the music of the skies. "—Anonymous.
Unfortunately, the above only applies to those of us who have accepted the Lord Jesus as our Saviour and Lord. If the reader is not one who believes yet, may we suggest that you visit the following web page and read about God's Love: http://www.ingalls5.com
Have a good day.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Two good jokes
Today's CleanLaugh - "Failing Eyesight"
An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was nervous because her eyesight was failing and was afraid her friend might reject her because she was less than perfect. So, she came up with a plan to prove to him that she could see perfectly.
She put a straight pin in a tree that was about 200 feet from her front porch.
When her beau arrived, they sat in the porch swing and were talking when she suddenly stopped the conversation and asked, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?"
Her friend squinted his eyes and said, "I don't see a thing."
"Well, I'm going to go see," she said as she jumped up, ran toward the tree, and collided with a cow.
-------------------------------
Today's CleanPun - "Prison Quartet"
While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them.
The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them.
"This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for the key."
The above is from:
The Cybersalt Digest a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communicationshttp://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was nervous because her eyesight was failing and was afraid her friend might reject her because she was less than perfect. So, she came up with a plan to prove to him that she could see perfectly.
She put a straight pin in a tree that was about 200 feet from her front porch.
When her beau arrived, they sat in the porch swing and were talking when she suddenly stopped the conversation and asked, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?"
Her friend squinted his eyes and said, "I don't see a thing."
"Well, I'm going to go see," she said as she jumped up, ran toward the tree, and collided with a cow.
-------------------------------
Today's CleanPun - "Prison Quartet"
While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them.
The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them.
"This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for the key."
The above is from:
The Cybersalt Digest a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communicationshttp://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Thursday, January 10, 2008
New Blog Design and Granddaughter
Greetings,
We have elected to go with a slightly different design on our Blog. We hope you like it.
Since Christmas I have been busy nursing a broken left heel. Not much fun. In a couple of weeks the cast will come off and I will graduate to a "walking boot." We would have been leaving tomorrow for a church building job but that activity is out for the next two or three months.
For a Christmas present we received a picture of our newest granddaughter. We will post it here of all to see. She is 18 months old. Larry and Linda got her from China in August.
Here is a good one to close with:
Attitudes
==========
Attitudes are contagious,
...is Yours worth catching?
==========
Attitudes are contagious,
...is Yours worth catching?
~A MountainWings Original by Edie from Siletz, OR~
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