Hazy Answer

"Can I speak to you for a minute, Pastor?"

It is a familiar request, but this time I wasn't at church.Because I'm on TV, people recognize me and sometimes I am the only counsel they've seen in a while. My last session before this one occurred as I walked through the airport. People will see me and begin to tell me their life stories or at least the story of the moment, hoping for an answer. Much of the time I can help them or at least make them feel better.

"It's my son," he said. "I just don't know what to do. We raised him right and we can't figure out what happened," the man said.He lit up a cigarette in the parking lot and took a deep drag.The place we had just exited was non-smoking and I guess he needed his cigarette NOW.

"What seems to be the problem?" I asked.

"He's smoking dope!" was the answer.His cigarette smoke wafted by my nose and made it twitch."He's evidently been running around with the wrong crowd and has picked up a real bad habit. We've always tried to watch his friends and keep him with good folk," the father explained.He flicked the ashes of his cigarette on the ground. The ashes fell silently, yet with a thud.

"Can you tell me what's wrong with kids today? When I was a teenager we didn't fool with no dope. These kids today just have their heads screwed on crooked," he went on.His cigarette end glowed red like the coil on an electric stove and seemed to get brighter with his anger. He appeared to inhale deep to calm his nerves.

"I guess I just don't understand kids these days," he remarked as a slight breeze blew the smoke into my face making me breathe shallow to keep from coughing."I think it's those rappers and the music that's doing it,"was his explanation as another set of ashes fell like heavy snowflakes. I knew the ashes fell silently, yet it sounded as if I could hear them fall.

"I dunno, guess there are just some things I will never understand. What makes a good kid want to smoke dope is beyond me," he said with a puzzled look as the smoke wafted around his head like fog on a mountain.~

A MountainWings Original~

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Air Boss

Activated from the Army Reserves for a joint service Arctic exercise, I was assigned to the air reconnaissance section.Although I had recently been promoted, I was feeling rusty,and wanted to get started learning my duties so as not to appear too "green."

I confided to the Air Force lieutenant colonel who greeted me that I was anxious to meet the Air Boss right away.

"Don't worry, son," he said reassuringly, "the Air Boss is a real professional, knows his stuff cold and works well with his people. Great guy."

"Terrific!" I replied. "What's his name?"

Looking through the roster, the welcoming officer replied,"O'Hara."

"Oh, no," I groaned. "That's me."

Received from "Humor In Uniform" by Col. John E. O'Hara.--

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A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

Satisfied Mind

The entry below is from MountainWings in your mailbox. The slide show has a powerful message and one that all ages should take to heart. A satisfied mind is more important than all the money in the world.

I have read somewhere in the past an email which told how some of the richest men in the world were not really happy. Being driven to get more and more must be as adictive as drugs.

There have been men who made a fortune and then turned it to blessing the less fortunate. This may have come from a guilty conscience or it could have been rightly from a sense of doing the right thing in return for the Lord's blessing.

Have a good day.

Click the link below to view this month's movie:
http://www.cryofthespirit.com/satisfied.html

The last Friday of each even numbered month features a new movie
on www.CryofTheSpirit.com.

This month's movie is entitled, "How Much Can You Take?" ...enjoy!!!

Click the link below to view this month's movie:
http://www.cryofthespirit.com/satisfied.html

To send this movie to a friend click:
http://www.cryofthespirit.com/movie-taf.html
www.CryofTheSpirit.com

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See you tomorrow.

Get Up Again

Oh, we all get run over once in our lives.
But one must pick oneself up again
and behave as if it were nothing.
~Henry Ibsen~

from the sermon, "Get Up Again"
If you've failed and need encouragement to get up again, listen.

Get Up Again http://www.theonlineword.com/s/5382.wma
or http://www.theonlineword.com/mp3/5382.mp3

Read it at http://www.theonlineword.com/pdf/5382.pdf

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http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8059.htm

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Change a life, give a friend MountainWings.
See you tomorrow.

The Other Side

The following illustration is very appropriate at this time in my family's life.

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing. I know my Master is there and that is enough."

From Pastor Tim at:
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communicationshttp://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Elephant Picture

Jake is five years old and learning to read. He points at a picture in a zoo book and says, "Look, Mama! It's a frickin' elephant!"

Deep breath ... "What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' elephant, Mama! It says so on the picture!" and so it does ..."A f r i c a n Elephant."

Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful?

Received from Becky Day.
--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080226Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List

A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

Accounting Interview

Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview
for a good paying job. The company boss asked various
questions about him and his education, but then asked him,
"What is three times seven?"

"Twenty-two," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked
it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to
the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.

About two weeks later, Rick got a letter that said he was
hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in
the mouth, but he was still very curious. The next day, he
went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got
such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said,
"Well, you were the closest."

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
--
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

The B.C.

-------------------------------------------------
MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#2205 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
-------------------------------------------------
If You Gotta Go, Start Early
=============================
An old lady, quite delicate and elegant, especially in her
speech, was planning several weeks vacation in Florida with her
husband and wanted to make sure the camp grounds were fully
equipped.
She didn't know just how to ask the manger about the toilet
facilities. She decided that she couldn't use the word "toilet"
in her letter to the manager. So after studying about it for
some time, she thought the old-fashioned title "bathroom commode"
sounded good.
But, maybe he would think that she was a bit forward, so she
tore up the letter and started all over again. Referring to the
toilet, in her final letter to the manager she asked if the
campgrounds had a B.C.
Well, the manager had no idea what she was talking about, so he
showed the letter to several friends. They couldn't figure out
what she meant either.
Finally, they came to the conclusion that she must mean
did the campgrounds have a Baptist Church.
So, when he answered her letter he said,
"Dear Madame,
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I am
pleased to tell you that we do have a B.C.
It is located just one mile North of the camp. It will seat 250
people at one time. I admit that it is quite a distance away if
you go regularly.
You might be interested to know that there is a supper planned
to make money to buy more seats. They will have them in the
basement of the B.C.
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago. It was so
crowded that we had to stand up the whole time we were there.
I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to
go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my
part.
As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially
in cold weather.
Some people take their lunch and make a day of it. They arrive
early and stay late.
If you do decide to come here, perhaps I could go with you the
first time you go. I could sit beside you and introduce you to
the others.
Remember, this is a friendly community."
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See you tomorrow.

Internet problems

Frustration, frustration. Up at 5:00 am and cannot get on the Internet. The server was down until 8 am. Anyway, I did not realize how dependent we are on the Internet.

While I was sitting here wondering what to do with my time, I decided to clean up my desk. If you are like me things have a way of piling up. I print out stuff and say I want to keep this for whatever reason and then six months later decide to throw it away. That is what I did. Now I can see the top of my desk and my waste basket is FULL.

Clutter is hard on the mind at my age. Now I feel much better and not as confused.

A man once said he could tell how organized a manager was by looking at his desk. I think he was right.

A cup of "tea"

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident inwhich my arm had been broken. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'

From Pastor Tim at: http://www.cybersalt.net/

Two for one today

A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones chests, would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own hearts. Their eyes would always light up with awe, but she never got a response equal to four-year old David's comment.

Gently she tucked the stethoscope into his ears and placed the disk over his heart. "Listen", she said..........."What do you suppose that is?"

He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange tap - tap - tapping deep in his chest. Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin and he asked, "Is that Jesus knocking?"

This was sent by: http://www.cybersalt.org/
___________________________

Announcement from the Pulpit

The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the
minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.

In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.

The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
--
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http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080222
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A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

The Water

I recognize that I have already posted today but the following just came in and I just had to share it.

It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We had
not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying.
Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were
long gone back into the earth. It was a dry season that
would bankrupt several farmers before it was through.
Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the
arduous process of trying to get water to the fields. Lately
this process had involved taking a truck to the local water
rendering plant and filling it up with water. But severe
rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn't see some rain
soon...we would lose everything.

It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing
and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes.
I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his
brothers when I saw my six-year-old son, Billy, walking
toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree
abandon of a youth but with a serious purpose. I could only see
his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort
...trying to be as still as possible.

Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running
out again, toward the house. I went back to making sandwiches,
thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed.
Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that
slow purposeful stride toward the woods.

This activity went on for an hour: walk carefully to the woods,
run back to the house. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer,
and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey
(being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing
important work and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him).
He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked, being
very careful not to spill the water he held in them...maybe two
or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands.

I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns
slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them.
He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I
saw the most amazing site. Several large deer loomed in front
of him.

Billy walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him to get
away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close.
But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Billy
knelt down. And I saw a tiny fawn lying on the ground,
obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift
its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my
beautiful boy's hands.

When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the
house and I hid behind a tree. I followed him back to the house
to a spigot that we had shut off the water to.

Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to
creep out. He knelt there, letting the drip slowly fill up his
makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back.
And it became clear to me. The trouble he had gotten into for
playing with the hose the week before. The lecture he had
received about the importance of not wasting water. The reason
he didn't ask me to help him.

It took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands.
When he stood up and began the trek back, I was there in front
of him. His little eyes just filled with tears.

"I'm not wasting," was all he said.

As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water
from the kitchen. I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed away.
It was his job.

I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful
heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life.
As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground,
they were suddenly joined by other drops...and more drops...and
more.........

I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, Himself, was weeping
with pride.

Some will probably say that this was all just a huge
coincidence. That miracles don't really exist. That it was
bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that.
............I'm not going to try.

All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our
farm...just like the actions of one little boy saved another.
This is not one of those crazy chain letters...if you don't
forward it to anyone, nothing bad will happen to you.
If you choose to forward it, you won't receive any riches in the
mail.

I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it
out. To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken
from me much too soon.... But not before showing me the true
face of God, in a little sunburned body.

~Author Unknown~

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See you tomorrow.
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It Has been busy here

The last several days have been extremely busy. That is the reason for the no post days.

Tuesday, my daughter and I took care of some business in town regarding the closing or changing some accounts etc. Later we went to Austin to buy me a suit. We bought a suit all right!! Before she and the female sales clerk were through I had bought a suit, sport coat, three pairs of pants to go with the suit and sport coat, six shirts, six ties to go with the above mentioned items, three silk ties to go in the suit pocket, and two cedar hangers. There is a lesson to be learned here men.

Yesterday was spent with the lawyer, acountant and preparing the audio and slide presentation of the memorial service.

At a time like this, it is good to be very busy.

Pie in the oven

A woman was getting a homemade cherry pie ready to put into the oven when the phone rang. It was the school nurse. Her son had come down with a high fever, and would she come and take him home? The mother calculated how long it would take to drive to school and back, and how long the pie should bake, and concluded there was enough time. Popping the pie in the oven, she left for school. When she arrived, her son's fever was worse and the nurse urged her to take him to the doctor.

She drove to the clinic as fast as she dared. She was frayed a bit more as the doctor emerged from the examining room and handed her a slip of paper. "Get him to bed," he told her, handing her the prescription, "and start him on this right away."

By the time she got the boy home and in bed and headed out again for the shopping mall, she was not only frayed, but frazzled and frantic as well. And she had forgotten about the pie in the oven.

At the mall she found a pharmacy, got the prescription filled, and rushed back to the car, which was locked. There were her keys, hanging in the ignition switch, locked inside the car.

She began searching the mall for a wire coat hanger -- which turned out not to be easy. Wooden hangers and plastic hangers were there in abundance, but shops didn't use wire hangers anymore. After combing through a dozen stores, she finally found a wire hanger. Hurrying out of the mall, she halted. She stared at the wire coat hanger. "I don't know what to do with this!"

Then she remembered the pie in the oven. All the frustrations of the past hour collapsed on her and she began crying. Then she prayed, "Dear Lord, my boy is sick and he needs this medicine and my pie is in the oven and the keys are locked in the car. Lord, I don't know what to do with this coat hanger. Dear Lord, send somebody who does know what do with it, and I really need that person NOW, Lord. Amen." She was wiping her eyes when a beat-up older car pulled up to the curb and stopped in front of her.

A young man, twentyish-looking, in a stained T-shirt and ragged jeans, got out. He was coming her way. When he drew near, she stepped in front of him and held out the wire coat hanger. "Young man," she said, "do you know how to get into a locked car with one of these?"

He gaped at her for a moment and then plucked the hanger from her hand. "Where's the car?"

She had never seen anything like it -- it was simply amazing how easily he got into her car. A quick look at the door and window, a couple of twists of the coat hanger, and the door was open.

When she saw that, she threw her arms around him.

"Oh," she said, "the Lord sent you! You're such a good boy."

He stepped back and said, "No, ma'am, I'm not a good boy. I just got out of prison yesterday."

She jumped at him and she hugged him again fiercely. "Bless the Lord!" she cried. "He sent me a professional!"

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

Above received from GCFL.net

Helen's page on the web

We were partly successful in putting the entire memorial service on the web page. The audio of the service was so large (file size) that it exceeded the available server size. However, the page is up and running at: www.ingalls5.com.

We hope you can view the slide show OK.

Helen's Web Page

We have just posted a new page to our web site that is a memorial to Helen's life.

The web page can be found at: www.ingalls5.com

Helen's Memorial Service

The service yesterday was a combination of a power point presentation of Helen's life together with a beautiful Celebration of Helen's Homegoing. Bro. Ellis did a fabulous job of doing the service. Bro. Dan's solo and Sue's piano playing was supurb!

Later today or early tomorrow I plan to put the Power Point presentation on our web page along with the audio of the service.

Larry and family have left for Denver. Don and Toni will be here today and Linda plans to stay until the end of next week to help me do whatever is needed to put the house in order.

Until next time.

Helen Hone Ingalls

In Loving Memory

Helen Beatrice Hone Ingalls
3/27/1929 - 2/8/2008

Mother was born in New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada on March 27, 1929 to Charles and Anna Hone. She was the youngest of four children: Howard was sixteen years older, Marge was twelve years older, and Dot was five years older.

Since her father was the manager of a lumber mill quite a distance from town, Helen was home schooled through second grade. Her only friend, other than her sister Dot, was George, the cook's son. Between the three of them, what one couldn't think of the other one did. Mom and George pulled such pranks as climbing onto the roof and dropping snowballs down the cook's stovepipe. Mom and Dot thought they were being "helpful" and "washed" the foreman's new car with Brillo pads. As Mom got older, she and Dot would board in Vancouver during the school year with the Southey's, who had children their age. Mom and Gwen Southey remained good friends to this day.

When World War II began, her family moved back to Bellingham, Washington where she went to high school and became a U.S. citizen. Her father ran a small, country grocery store with several gas pumps out front. Mom often worked in the store and pumped gas for customers. One summer she worked the graveyard shift for a canning company, separating the worms from the peas on a conveyor belt.

Mom and Dad met while both were attending Whitworth College in Spokane, Washington, and working in the dining room. Mother was the waitress for the faculty table and Father was a bus boy. Dad would try to make Mom laugh, which was against the rules. Mom was the life of her dorm and pulled many pranks, such as hiding all of the dining room silverware in the grand piano.

When Dad's Army unit was activated for Korea, Mom and Dad were married in the home of her sister, Marge, on January 5, 1951. Mother graduated from Whitworth College in the Spring of 1951 with a BA in Christian Education. After graduation, she traveled to Acme, Wyoming to meet Dad's family. Upon returning to Bellingham, WA, Mom worked as the Minister of Education in a small church.

After Dad was discharged from the Army in 1952, Mom and Dad settled in Boulder, Colorado. Mom first worked as a billing clerk for Ralston Purina and later secretary to the head of the Psychology department at the University of Colorado while Dad finished his degree. Initially Mom and Dad lived in a 30-foot trailer, including the hitch, and then in the married housing, which was converted military barracks. Linda, their first child, was born in 1954. When Dad graduated and got a job with Armco Steel, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Larry, their second child, was born in 1958, and Don, their third child, was born in 1959. Dad was transferred to Houston in 1960 where Mom and Dad lived until 1991 when they moved to La Grange.

Mom was a loving mother and consummate homemaker. When we would get home from school, Mom would call to us and we would find her to tell her about our day. Mother preferred to have all of the neighborhood children at our house rather than somewhere else. She was truly sad when summer was over and we had to go back to school. Our home was full of love and laughter and music, as Mom played both the piano and organ.

Mother loved to sew and sewed all of our clothes when we were younger. In one of our homes was a large, walk-in closet that Dad had converted into a sewing room for Mom. It was also a storage closet but we would all be in the closet with Mom when Dad got home from work. We could quote what he was going to say: "2,400 square feet in this house and you are all in the closet". We were there because Mom was there.

Mom and Dad were teachers of the Sunday School College and Career class for many years in the 1960's. Their home was always open to class gatherings and was often wall-to-wall people. One New Year's eve, there was an impromptu gathering at our house and there were young people crammed into every room of the house. On Sunday evenings, our den would be full of class members singing hymns. At times the volume was so loud, Dad had to open the top of the piano so it could be heard over the singing. When class members needed a place to stay, Mom opened the guest bedroom for as long as they needed it. One abused young woman stayed with us for several months. Later Mom and Dad became involved with the Sunday School Young Married class, where Mom spent many hours mentoring young mothers.

After we were grown, the Lord blessed Mother with a career. Mom started M & H Publishing, a specialized publishing company for books for nursing homes, of which she served as the CEO from 1982 to 1997. Not only did Mother blossom as a business woman but God greatly blessed her financially.

In 1994, Mom supported Dad as they became part of the Texas Baptist Church Builders (TBM), an organization that supplies the labor to build churches that otherwise would not be able to afford to build new facilities. In this ministry, they have traveled to 57 locations in Texas, New Mexico, California, and Colorado. The builders became very dear to our parents and Mom loved them very much.

For some time now, Mom has been by Dad's side as he taught Sunday School in the Love & Laughter class. Both Mom and Dad have been ministered to by the class as well as the rest of Second Baptist Church.

After Mom's oldest sister, Marge, went to be with the Lord, Mom "adopted" Marge's only daughter, Janet. She also kept in touch with her brother's only daughter, Barbara. Both relationships were ministries in their own way.

Mom loved to read. She never went anywhere without a book or four (or six or eight). She spent many hours doing elaborate needle work that now graces all of our homes. In the 1970's, Mom, Dad and Don took up backpacking. Mom hiked the Grand Canyon, Bryce National Park, and portions of the Lone Star Trail and the Appalachian Trail.

Whenever she was sitting down in her home, she was "the lap" for their furry-faced daughter, Bonnie, a 15-year-old Canadian Rag doll cat.

Larry and his wife, Linda, gave Mom and Dad three grandchildren, Daniel, Christina, and Sarah. Mother loved her grandchildren and was very proud of them. Mom and Dad were particularly pleased when Don, a confirmed bachelor, married Toni. Mother felt very blessed to have two beautiful daughters-in-law.

Mom and Dad were married 57 years; the two were joined at the hip. They completed and complimented each other. Mom and Dad were prayer warriors and my greatest source of strength here on this earth. Mom was my best friend.

Mom is now in the midst of a great family reunion in Heaven. We rejoice for her and know that she is reaping her Heavenly reward.

With love by her children,
Linda, Larry, and Don

Helen's Home Going

On Friday, the 8th of February, 2008, my wife of 57 years, Helen, went to be with her Lord. It is at times like this that only the strength that comes from knowing the Lord Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior keeps me from asking "why." Today I read the following paragraph from "The Letters to the Romans" by William Barclay, page 200.

"It is hard not to worry, for man is characteristically a creature who looks forward to guess and fear. The only end to that worry is the utter conviction that, whatever happens, God’s hand will never cause his child a needless tear. Things will happen that we cannot understand, but if we are sure enough of God’s love, we can accept with serenity even those things which wound the heart and baffle the mind."

This has given me much comfort this morning.

God Bless all who read the above.

The Duck and the Devil

The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his

Sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes" But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen." Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper." Sally just smiled and said, "Well that's all right because Johnny told Me he wanted to help" She whispered again, "Remember the duck?" So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he Finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had Killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You See, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, But because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you."

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done.... And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved.

Go ahead and make the difference in someone's life today. Share this with a friend and always remember:

God is at the window!

Thank you Ron for this one!

No Enemies

The minister's sermon went on and on about how important it
was to forgive people and reach out to them so as not to make
enemies.

"Is there anyone in this church who can honestly say they have
no enemies?" asked the minister.

Not a hand went up. But a few moments later, a very elderly
lady in the back row raised her frail little hand.

"Please, come up and tell us what you have done over all these
years that you can be so confident you have no enemies," asked
the minister.

Dutifully the old woman limped up to the front of the church
where she explained, "I outlived 'em all."

Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8037.htm

Thank you for inviting MountainWings into your mailbox.
See you tomorrow.

God's Temple

For we are the temple of the living God! As God Himself has said:

"I will make my home with them and live among them, I will be their God, and they shall be my people."

And so the Lord says:

"You must leave them, and separate yourselves from them. Have nothing to do with what is unclean, And I will accept you. I will be your Father, and you shall be my sons and daughters, Says the Lord Almighty."

All these promises are made to us, my dear friends! Let us, therefore, purify ourselves from everything that makes body or soul unclean, and let us seek to be completely holy, by living in the fear of God.

2 Corinthians 6:10-7:1 Good News for Modern Man

Stolen Turkey

Today's CleanLaugh -

"Stolen Turkey"Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.

This from:
http://www.cybersalt.net

Jack Kinsella - Commentary

I ran across a very enlightening commentary regarding the non-existance of WMD in Iraq.

The article can be found at:
http://hallindsey.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=241&Itemid=1

"There are none so blind as those that will not see" Author unknown to me.

Have a good day.

Walking the Dog

A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story... Have a great day and remember...

THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

A. W. Tozer

The following is todays "Insight For Leaders" emailing from http://www.litmin.org/

January 30

Personal Life: Accountability to God

And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment. --Hebrews 9:27

It was the belief in the accountability of man to his maker that made America a great nation. Among those earlier leaders was Daniel Webster whose blazing eyes and fiery oratory often held the Senate spellbound. In those days the Congress was composed of strong, noble statesmen who carried the weight of the nation in their hearts and minds.

Someone asked: "Mr. Webster, what do you consider the most serious thought that has ever entered your mind?"

"The most solemn thought that has ever entered my mind is my accountability to my maker," he replied.

Men like that cannot be corrupted and bought. They do not have to worry if someone listens to their telephone calls. What they were in character and in deportment resulted from their belief that they would finally be accountable to God. Echoes from Eden, 130.

"Lord, help me to live my life today in such a way that, should You call me tonight to stand before You and give account, I would have nothing of which I would need to be ashamed. Amen."
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers

Coffee

A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, got together for a visit with their old university professor.

The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite.

Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering.

''You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems."

He continued. "Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups. Then you began eying each other's cups.''

''Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us. God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!''

The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything. So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

Leave the Rest to God. And remember -

The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

Thanks to Leann for the above article.

Four Great Short Stories

Here are a few military comebacks...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush.

He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'

It became very quiet in the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

Once again, dead silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'Whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a pin drop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.

At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

Thanks Ted for this one!

The Cab Ride

Sweet story:
THE CAB RIDE

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away.

But, I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like someb ody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness.

"It's nothing ", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".

I loo ked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."
We drove in silence to the address she had given me.

It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up.

They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door..

The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light.

Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.

What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT ~ THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. Every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.

Thank you Mel for this one.

Pecans In The Cemetery

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick ," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

SMILE, God Loves You!

Mediocre Christians

The following is from an email received daily. I hope you appreciate the seriousness of the article.

January 23

Personal Life: It May Not Be Convenient

But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. --1 Corinthians 9:27

What must our Lord think of us if His work and His witness depend upon the convenience of His people? The truth is that every advance that we make for God and for His cause must be made at our inconvenience. If it does not inconvenience us at all, there is no cross in it! If we have been able to reduce spirituality to a smooth pattern and it costs us nothing--no disturbance, no bother and no element of sacrifice in it--we are not getting anywhere with God. We have stopped and pitched our unworthy tent halfway between the swamp and the peak.

We are mediocre Christians!

Was there ever a cross that was convenient? Was there ever a convenient way to die? I have never heard of any, and judgment is not going to be a matter of convenience, either! Yet we look around for convenience, thinking we can reach the mountain peak conveniently and without trouble or danger to ourselves.

Actually, mountain climbers are always in peril and they are always advancing at their inconvenience. I Talk Back to the Devil, 48.

"Lord, I don't know what You have in store for me today, in Your sovereign plan for my life. Help me to serve You faithfully, with full discipline, whether it's convenient or not. Amen."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's "Insight for Leaders" is taken by permission from the book, Tozer on Christian Leadership, published by WingSpread Publishers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gossiper

The Church Gossiper

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new church member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone who saw it parked there would know exactly what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then just turned and alked away.

He didn't explain, defend , or deny... He said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... Walked home.. And left it there all night.

You Gotta love George...

Thank you Kenneth L. for this one!

Monday Musings

Yesterday was a very good day at church. The Sunday School lesson went well and the Pastor's sermon on the Sanctity of Life was excellent.

The broken left heel is apparently healed well. I can put considerable pressure on the cast without any pain. The cast will come off on Thursday and I can hardly wait. Just what activity will be possible with the walking boot is unknown now. Hopefully I can start doing some outside yard cleanup soon. Several pine trees that have fallen victim to the pine bark beetle need cutting down and removed.

This morning Mountain Wings has an excellent article. All Christians should read this piece to give a perspective on integration that is most revealing. It is a long read but well worth the time. I will not copy it to this blog but the web address is: http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8021.htm

Thought for today: Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.
..... Jimmy Johnson NFL Coach

Bran Muffins

BranMuffins

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help wh en they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven."

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.

"What are the greens fees?," grumbled the old man.

"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?," he asked.

"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to," was the answer.

"No testing my sugar ! or bloo d pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"

Grippe Comments

Today's CleanLaugh - "Gripe Comments"

After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines) which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs rep lacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpitS: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descentS: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget

The above is from:

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Take My Son

This is great. It will make your day! The ending will surprise you.

"Take my Son"

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the gre at works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.

He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out this package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?"

There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."

But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"

Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"

But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."

"$10 is the bid. Won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.
The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The son, the son, who'll take the son?"

Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE

Little Old Lady

Little Old Lady

There was a little old lady, who every morning. stepped onto her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!"

One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"

Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every day. One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!
Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Lord!"

The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there. "PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES FOR ME!"

The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted: "THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"

Received from Donald Pohlner.
--
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Most Embarrassing First Date

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MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#8016 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
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Sticky First Date
==================
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be "pants down."

And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment... "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off." Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/8016.htm
Thank you for inviting MountainWings into your mailbox.
Change a life, give a friend MountainWings.
See you tomorrow.

A Little Too Heavy

A good friend sent the pictures. His comments are:

"I think this qualifies as an "OOPS" moment for sure!

A friend from Arkansas sent this.....so I'm assuming it happened somewhere close to him!"

Questions that come to mind is how to get the building back on its wheels. Also, the building must have a good strong frame to be able to be supported on both ends without buckling!

Maybe next time the mover will believe those signs that give the load limits of bridges.

Walk-in-Scream

Today's CleanLaugh - "Walk-in Scream"

A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him what had happened.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another exam room.

The doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?!"

The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking up, asked, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

Thanks Pastor Tim.

_________________________________________
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communications
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org

The Bum

-------------------------------------------------
MountainWings A MountainWings Moment
#1081 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
-------------------------------------------------

The Bum
========

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
James D. Miles

Everyone respects and helps the millionaire, the famous, the boss, those with beauty and brains. What about the bum on the street?

This is a real story. It happened to me, the writer of MountainWings.com.

I was parked in front of the church cleaning out my Jeep. I was waiting on someone. Coming my way from across the street was what society would consider a bum. From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of those "don't want to be bothered times."

"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.

He didn't.

He came and sat on the wall in front of the bus stop to wait on the bus. After a few minutes he spoke. "That's a very pretty Jeep," he said. He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly blond beard keep more than his face warm.

I said, "thanks," and continued cleaning out the Jeep.

He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never came. As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask him if he needs any help." I was sure that he would say "yes" but I held true to the inner voice.

"Do you need any help?" I asked.

He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and acomplishments. I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me.

"Don't we all?" he said.

I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge shotgun. Don't we all?

I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare, but enough to take a cab anywhere in the city and get food and shelter for the day.

Those three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help.

Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that. You never know when you may see someone who appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.

Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more than that. Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves. Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum, then said, "go minister to that man cleaning the Jeep, that man needs help."

Don't we all?

~A MountainWings Original~

The above is from Mountain Wings. This item can be found at: http://www.mountainwings.com/past/1081.htm

What we hope to do

"The guests at a certain hotel were being made uncomfortable by the repeated strumming on a piano by a little girl who possessed no musical knowledge. They complained to the owner with the hope of having the annoyance stopped.

‘I am sorry you are annoyed,’ he said. ‘But the girl is the child of one of my very best guests. I can hardly ask her not to touch the piano. But her father, who is away for a day or so, will return tomorrow. You can approach him and have the matter settled.’

When the father returned, be found his daughter in the reception room thumping on the piano. He walked up behind the child, put his arms over her shoulders, took her hands in his, and produced some beautiful music.

So may it be with us, and so will it be some day. Just now, we can produce only clamor and disharmony; but, one day, the Lord Jesus will take hold of our hands of faith and prayer and use them to bring forth the music of the skies. "—Anonymous.

Unfortunately, the above only applies to those of us who have accepted the Lord Jesus as our Saviour and Lord. If the reader is not one who believes yet, may we suggest that you visit the following web page and read about God's Love: http://www.ingalls5.com

Have a good day.

Two good jokes

Today's CleanLaugh - "Failing Eyesight"

An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was nervous because her eyesight was failing and was afraid her friend might reject her because she was less than perfect. So, she came up with a plan to prove to him that she could see perfectly.

She put a straight pin in a tree that was about 200 feet from her front porch.

When her beau arrived, they sat in the porch swing and were talking when she suddenly stopped the conversation and asked, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?"

Her friend squinted his eyes and said, "I don't see a thing."

"Well, I'm going to go see," she said as she jumped up, ran toward the tree, and collided with a cow.

-------------------------------

Today's CleanPun - "Prison Quartet"

While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them.

The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them.

"This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for the key."

The above is from:

The Cybersalt Digest a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communicationshttp://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

New Blog Design and Granddaughter

Greetings,

We have elected to go with a slightly different design on our Blog. We hope you like it.

Since Christmas I have been busy nursing a broken left heel. Not much fun. In a couple of weeks the cast will come off and I will graduate to a "walking boot." We would have been leaving tomorrow for a church building job but that activity is out for the next two or three months.

For a Christmas present we received a picture of our newest granddaughter. We will post it here of all to see. She is 18 months old. Larry and Linda got her from China in August.

Here is a good one to close with:

Attitudes
==========
Attitudes are contagious,
...is Yours worth catching?

~A MountainWings Original by Edie from Siletz, OR~

12 Days of Christmas - PC Version

Today's CleanLaugh - "The 12 Politically Correct Days of Christmas"

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter festival, my potential acquaintance gave to me,

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18 member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)

TEN melanin-deprived, testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically-disadvantaged female persons stealing milk products from enslaved Bovine Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally-protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen, nonhuman animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally-sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after a member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further animal American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled, processed tree carcasses,

and a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

The above is from:

The Cybersalt Digest a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communicationshttp://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Christmas Love

The following illustration is from:

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Communicationshttp://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

I don't usually go for different versions of the "Love Chapter" (1 Corinthians 13), but I like this one.

+++++++++++++++++++

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows,
strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls,
but do not show love to my family,
I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen,
baking dozens of Christmas cookies,
preparing gourmet meals
and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime:
but do not show love to my family,
I'm just another cook.

If I work at a soup kitchen
carol in the nursing home,
and give all that I have to charity;
but do not show love to my family,
it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels
and crocheted snowflakes,
attend a myriad of holiday parties
and sing in the choir's cantata
but do not focus on Christ,
I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home
that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way,
but is thankful they are there to be in the way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return;
but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things
endures all things.
Love never fails.

Video games will break,
pearl necklaces will be lost,
golf clubs will rust;

But giving the gift of love will endure.

An Advent Lesson

The following is from John Mark Reynolds Blog.

Turning a Corner to Paradise: An Advent Lesson

Advent remembers and anticipates two appearances of Christ. First, we recall his Incarnation when the Word became Flesh. Second, we look forward to his Second Coming when He will come as King to rule on the Earth.

Mary and Joseph went on a weary journey and suddenly Bethlehem was not just a little town anymore.

They turned a corner and Paradise came down.

Someday, perhaps soon, we will turn a corner and the trumpet will sound, the dead will rise, and Christ will return.

We will turn a corner and Paradise will come down.

Mongolia is not Los Angeles, but it was a classroom for me about this reality.
A group of about twenty Torrey Honors students and my family went at the invitation of Campus Crusade and the Mongolian government to do a series of meetings in the schools. Watching my students respond, mostly without complaint, to difficult circumstances showed their quality. Having a chance to share the gospel with them, seeing what we had learned in the classroom matter in eternity, revealed what we had done well in Torrey and what we could do better.

Most of all I remember seeing an upperclassman, Angela Good, come into her own. She loved missions, education, and great conversations and we were involved in all three. We were all moved by teachers forced to do great work with poor resources.

Angie came home and began a Torrey project to send school supplies to those teachers. It was one of her last acts. She would graduate to a greater school that fall following a car accident.

From the moment I got what my family now simply calls “the call,” I have seldom forgotten that what we do is not the only thing that impacts eternity. We are, all of us, just one step from the eternal Kingdom. I have never forgotten Angie and I have never forgotten the truth that any one of us might turn a corner and find ourselves with Christ in Paradise.

What have you done about it?

Three Things To Think About

1. Cows
2. The Constitution, and
3. The Ten Commandments

Cows - Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves also, right to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

The Constitution - They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

The Ten Commandments - The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post 'Thou Shall Not Steal,' 'Thou Shall Not Covet', and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Volkswagen Beetle and the Rolls Royce

Volkswagen Beetle and the Rolls Royce

A man from Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"

The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do.."

"I got one too... see?" the Texan says.

"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."

"You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan.

"Why, actually, yes, I do."

"I do too! See? Its right here!" brags the Texan.

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?"

The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?"

"Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies.

The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives allover town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.

The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.

======================= (It's ok... The joke is CLEAN.)======================

The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out.

The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's up?"

"Check this out...I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."

The Texan exclaims, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?"

Received from Max Lee.
--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20071127
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List
A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a)
Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA

How to "Spin" the truth

Republican Version

Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, a fellow lacking in
character, was Hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana.
He was hanged in 1889. The only known Photograph of Remus shows him
standing on the Gallows.

On the back of the picture is this Inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse
thief, sent to Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, Robbed the
Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted
and hanged in 1889."

Democrat Version

Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His
business empire grew to Include acquisition of valuable equestrian
assets And intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in
1883, he devoted several years of his Life to service at a government
facility, finally Taking leave to resume his dealings with the
Railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital Investigation run
by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away
during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform
upon which he was standing collapsed.

Cherokee Legend

-------------------------------------------------
Cherokee Legend
================
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.

He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.

He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

~Author Unknown~

Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/7316.htm

Thank you for inviting MountainWings in your mailbox.
Give a friend the gift of MountainWings.

See you tomorrow.

The Parachute

The Parachute?
===============


Charles Plumb, a US Naval Academy graduate,
was a jet fighter pilot in Vietnam.


After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a
surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy
hands. He was captured and spent six years in a communist
Vietnamese prison.


He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from
that experience.


One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant,
a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew
jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk.
You were shot down!"


"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.


"I packed your parachute," the man replied.


Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude.
The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"


Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked,
I wouldn't be here today."


Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man.


Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he might have looked like in
a Navy uniform: a white hat, a bib in the back, and bell-bottom
trousers.


I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said
"Good morning," "How are you?" or anything because, you see,
I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor.


Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long
wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the
shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his
hands each time, the fate of someone he didn't know.


Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?"


Everyone has someone who provides what he or she needs to make
it through the day. Plumb also points out that he needed many
kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy
territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental
parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute.


He called on all these supports before reaching safety.


Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss
what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or
thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has
happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice
for no reason.


As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize
those people who pack your parachute.



Thank you for inviting MountainWings in your mailbox.
See you tomorrow.


Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/1200.htm

The Grade

-------------------------------------------------
The Grade
==========
A professor stood before his class of twenty senior
organic biology students about to hand out the final
exam.

"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this
semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and
many of you are off to medical school after summer. So
that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have
been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would
like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the
course."

There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up,
walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his
offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked
out over the handful of remaining students and asked,
"Anyone else? This is your last chance."

One final student rose up and opted out of the final.

The professor closed the door and took attendance of those
students remaining.

"I'm glad to see you believe in yourself," he said.
"You all get 'A's."

How many have taken the easy way out?
The short road, the easy path, the light load,
all lead to lower grades in the school of life.

Forward this issue to a friend or send them the link below:
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/1198.htm

We are home

We returned home on Tuesday the 25th after traveling 3856 miles and being gone 49 days.

The trip went well with no trouble with the truck or RV.

Colorado was beautiful in fall color and cool.

It is good to be home.